11:40 PM >> Tier 1

OK, so here it is. I decided to make you wait a while for the Grand Finale after hearing some readers needed extra time to soak in all of the Tiers so far. So I hope you have marinated long enough. Plus I wanted to make the anticipation grow. Because I know you are all on the edge of your seats.

Before I start, let me just say that I had the pleasure of happening to catch HULK on TV last weekend, and holy crap it was so much better than I remembered. Here is one sequence that pretty much epitomizes just how awesome The Hulk is:

Hulk runs away from helicopters in the desert
Helicopter shoots a missile at Hulk
Without looking back, Hulk catches the missile and uses it to propel himself on an ultra-long Hulk Leap
Hulk lands, turns around, and waits for the copters (still holding missile)
Copters arrive
Hulk BIGHTS THE WARHEAD OFF THE MISSILE and SPITS IT AT A HELICOPTER
[Let me reiterate what just happened: Hulk bit the freaking warhead off a freaking missile and then freaking SPAT it back at the helicopter that fired it at him]
Helicopter blows up
Hulk proceeds across desert to San Francisco

How sweet is that! Now, without further ado, drumroll please...

Tier 1
Trainspotting¹, Being John Malkovich², Memento³, Fight Club⁴, Dazed & Confused⁵, Billy Madison⁶, Requiem for a Dream⁷, The Jerk⁸, Boogie Nights⁹, True Romance¹⁰, The Simpsons Movie¹¹, Go¹², MVP: Most Valuable Primate¹³, Moulin Rouge¹⁴, Clerks¹⁵, The Usual Suspects¹⁶, Office Space¹⁷, The Princess Bride<sup>18

1 & 2</sup> If I had to pick just one all-time favorite movie, for the past ten years I would've said Trainspotting. However, ever since I saw Being John Malkovich, it has been closing fast. In fact, gun to my head having to pick between the two of them, I would get shot.
³ Because of this movie, I will watch anything that Christopher Nolan ever directs. EVER.
⁴ I never cared too much about this movie until I found out the Dust Brothers did the soundtrack. Then I listened to the soundtrack and decided to check the movie out. Then I punched myself for not seeing this movie in the theater.
⁵ I know this movie takes place in high school in the 70's, but it came out when I was in college in the 90's, and somehow I could totally relate.
⁶ I still remember one night hanging out over at my friends' apartment, us putting this movie on but listening to music instead of turning up the dialogue of the movie, and realizing that we all had this movie memorized so well that we were still watching it and cracking up at every single funny part. Boy do I miss college.
⁷ See footnote 2 above, and substitute Darren Aronofsky for Christopher Nolan.
⁸ I first heard about this movie when I was a kid. And I thought to myself, "That movie must be awful. I mean why would I want to sit around for two hours watching some jerk?" So for the next 17 years I shunned this movie. Then my new college friends made me watch it, and I felt like an idiot.
⁹ This movie completely changed the way I thought of how movies could be made and was 80% of the inspiration for me to try writing screenplays myself. When Dirk Diggler dives underwater and the music goes from being clear to sounding like it would when you are underwater back to clear when he emerges from the pool... Wow. (And besides, Rollergirl is so hot she could've gotten this movie in this Tier all by herself.)
¹⁰ Once again Brad Pitt fucking rocks in his role. It's been far too long since I last watched this.
¹¹ Yes even though it is not out yet and I haven’t seen a bootleg or anything, I mean it’s The Simpsons for god’s sake!
¹² I first heard of this movie when it came to the Dollar Theater by my apartment. Then I watched it in that theater three times in an 18-hour period.
¹³ MVP stars a chimp that plays hockey. Yes he actually skates. No movie can ever top that. Ensign and I tried to put together a screening of the DVD at The 321 with the director, but he never responded to our email. Also be sure to watch MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate (skateboarding chimp) and MXP: Most Xtreme Primate (snowboarding chimp). I heard one time that MVP 4: Most Valuable Putter (golf) was coming out, but now I can find no trace of it on the interwebs.
¹⁴ To see how much I fucking loved this movie, you should check out my original review. But you can't because it has disappeared from the internets. To sum up: F YEAH.
¹⁵ This flick showed me that you could base an entire movie around conversations only, no action. (The hockey game does not count.)
¹⁶ Do I really need to say anything. If you did not achieve MIND MELT 105% at the end then you were in a coma.
¹⁷ Talk about your all-time bad marketing jobs. Due to the commercials, I never wanted to see this movie EVER. Like I would knock myself out if you played it in my living room. Then my friend bought it for me for my birthday and I had a The Jerk-like epiphany.
¹⁸ I honestly feel sorry for people that have not seen this film. I want to have kids mainly so I can watch this with them. Does anybody want a peanut?