7:12 AM >> Wishbone in Ziploc #5



Blue added. The results are in. Wishbone is mega-happy neon! fun. I knew it. Experiment concluded. Repeat concluded.

11:35 PM >> SNOWBOARDING REPORT

Snowboarding was awesome; I love it. I had about 5 serious falls that hurt my shoulders, wrists, and tailbone. One time I went about 3 feet in the air and landed straight on my tailbone, and it literally almost knocked the S out of me. That is gross, I know, but true. That feeling was soon replaced by complete, utter, and all-encompassing pain. Although the pain was only in my tailbone, somehow it pained my entire body. Fortunately I got everything under control, and then a 7-year-old girl skiied by me and asked, "Are you OK?" and I was both really touched and super embarrassed, but I was able to gather myself enough to croak out "Yes."

6:58 PM >> Wishbone in Ziploc (aside)


The cutest food coloring & egg dye dispensers you've ever seen.

5:51 PM >> Wishbone in Ziploc #4



Green food coloring and egg dye added.

Fun level of wishbone is now at 79%. That's a 32% increase from the addition of the Pink and a 57% increase from the control specimen.

2:23 PM >> Wishbone in Ziploc #3



Pink food coloring and egg dye added.

Fun level of wishbone is now at 47%. That's a 14% increase from the addition of the Purple and a 25% increase from the control specimen.

1:55 PM >> Wishbone in Ziploc #2



Purple food coloring and egg dye added. Also added was a second Ziploc baggie (not snack-sized) just in case there was leakage from the first.

Fun level of wishbone is currently rising. It is now at 33%. Wishbones have a natural fun level of 22%, so that is a 11% increase with the addition of purple neon!.

12:37 PM >> Wedding Clue



My cousin Monica is getting married this weekend. When my brothers and I were little and our parents would drop us off at the Miller's farmhouse the days were spent drinking Linda's sweet sweet tea, watching movies, riding the three-wheeler, exploring in the pig pen, goofing off around the farm, and playing Clue.

As a tribute to those oh-so-far-away days my family decided to do a Clue themed wedding gift for Monica and CJ. The real gift is a set of nice and fancy candlesticks, a Target gift card, and a Bed Bath and Beyond gift card. But it's the other things in the bag that will really tug at the heart and bring the tears and joy and stuff.

Here's what we're including in the gift bag in addition to the real gifts: 1)A rope, 2) a lead pipe, 3) a toy revolver, 4) a toy knife, 5) a wrench, 6) fuzzy dice, and 7) a personally created case file packet [SEE PICTURES], oh yeah and 8) a Clue boardgame.

9:55 PM >> Wishbone in Ziploc #2-5 (preparations)

I have all of my experiment materials ready for further installments of the Wishbone in Ziploc experiment. I purchased a package of McCormick's Neon! Food Colors & Egg Dye. Included are 4 vials of neon coloring {purple, pink, green, & blue}.



The experiment will be administered as follows:
1)Squirt PURPLE neon coloring into snack-sized Ziploc vessel. Scan it.
2)Add a squirt of PINK neon coloring into snack-sized Ziploc vessel. Shake it up. Scan it.
3)Add a squirt of GREEN neon coloring into snack-sized Ziploc vessel. Shake it up. Scan it.
4)And finally add a squirt of BLUE neon coloring into snack-sized Ziploc vessel. Shake it up. Scan it.

My hypothesis is that the Neon! coloring will institute a 74% level of fun to the wishbone. After the w-bone reaches that level of fun, I am completely unsure (absolutely completely unsure) as to what will occur. The results >> we will see after the assorted neon has been applied and shooked up very vigorously.



NOTE: I am partially color blind (self-proclaimed). In certain lighting situations some colors are not distinquishable - greens look like yellows, browns look like blacks. Is there such a thing as light black or dark white, btw?

9:07 AM >> Sheesh

The McGriddle is f-ing awesome. Everyone knows that.
So why did McDonald's have to go and muck it all up by deciding that a singular McGriddle should still be referred to as "a McGriddles."
It's enough to make you switch to the new Burger King Enormous Omelet Sandwich without even seeing the f-ing amazing, totally mouthwatering picture of it first.

8:42 AM >> HAPPY FUN NEON!


FOOD COLORS & EGG DYE.
4 VIALS OF HAPPY FUN NEON!
PURPLE PINK GREEN & BLUE.
HAPPY FUN NEON! DAY.

7:39 PM >> myrightthumb

to some a thumb is but a thumb not a butt but a thumb just a digit with a widget and a widget that's a thumb that's dumb but it's a thumb that's a thumb some dumb bum thought up a thumb how fun never never never think of a thumb or a thumb a or a thumb those are for the dumb but that's what some silly bum left hanging in his mind all aplumb oh thumb dumb bum thumb thumb thumb durn broken thumb a storm's a comin a storm's gonna come so says the thumb.

oh now now that's dumb well kinda half cool half dumb but really really the more i think it's dumb just really really dumb.

12:29 PM >> Beer/thumb facts

Beer brewers used to use their thumb to test the temperature of batches before adding yeast. This is where the phrase "rule of thumb" origninates.

It takes 119.5 seconds to pour the perfect pint of Guinness.

In the US, a barrel contains 31 gallons of beer.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benny Franklin

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. In old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would tell them to mind their own pints and quarts. This is where the phrase "mind your P's and Q's" originates.

According to the American Dental Association, thumb sucking does not cause permanent problems with the teeth or jaw line, unless it is continued beyond four to five years of age.

9:11 AM >> Wishbone in Ziploc #1




Preparations to bone specimen: 1) cooked in crockpot for 6 hours with carrots, celery, onions and spices; 2) removed and stripped of meat; 3) soaked in peroxide solution in tiny orange plastic ramekin; 4) soaked in water in same vessel; 5) air dried; 6) placed into plastic snack-sized Ziploc sleeve.

1:25 AM >>


Ed the snowboarder.

1:10 AM >> Candy jars refilled

I refilled my candy jars. There are two. Jar #1 has BRACH'S® Maple Nut Goodies and Jar #2 has HOT TAMALES®. The fun never stops. Never stops.

12:15 AM >> Chick-O-Hop

I'll tell you what, I love Chick-O-Sticks. But even better is the crossover of this candy into the Rap/Hip-Hop world.

Here are some Chick-O-Centric lyrics that have surfaced in the past.



NICE AND SMOOTH - Sometimes I Rhyme Slow

(Greg Nice)
Sometimes I rhyme slow sometimes I rhyme quick
I'm sweeter and thicker than a chick-o-stickHere's an ice cream cone honey take a lick
I go to Bay Plaza and catch a flick
Wore my Timberland boots so I can stomp ticks
Scandalous get a wiff of this mist
Just like the Yar Boys now I'm blissed
I feel good per say good state of mind
Drive a red Sterling and the seats recline
I love it when a lady treats me kind
Go to Tavern on the Green have a glass of wine
He say, she say I heard it through the grapevine
No static, got an automatic
Too much of anything makes you an addict
Smooth B Greg Nice Slick Nick click
Sometimes I rhyme slow sometimes I rhyme quick...

(chorus)

(Smooth B)
Sometimes I rhyme slow sometimes I rhyme quick
I was on 125 and Saint Nick
Waiting on a cab, standing in the rain
Under my heart three clouds of pain
She got the best of me
What was her destiny?
Maybe I should lick her with my nine millime...ter
My mind is in a blur

Cause you could never pay me to think this would occur
Me and this girl Jane Doe was living together
We were inseparable, noone could sever
At least that's what I thought
But later I fought with her substance
And almost ended up in Supreme Court
When I was on the road doing shows getting biz
She was in my penz getting stiffy with her friends
And even when she crashed my whip I didn't flip
My man Slick Nick said Smooth you're starting to slip
Time went on I started noticing weight loss
Then I had to ask her was she riding the white horse
At first she said no, then she said yo Smooth I'm sorry
But I keep having visions of snow
I need doe
And I said woah little hottie
I'm not DeLorian, Gambino or Gotti
I don't deal coke, and furthermore you're making me broke
I'll put you in a rehab and I won't tell your folks
And what do you know
In 18 months she came home and I let her back in
And now she's sniffing again...

(chorus)




69 BOYZ - Freak You Down 2 Da Bass
Yeah we very different that I cant deny
Yous a big city girl and imma country guy
You represent the north so you love hip- hop
And im straight up out the south so imma bout that drop
But lets get real for a minute baby look at my face
And tell me have you ever been queen to bass
So has a man ever made you buckle up at your knees
By the way he slowly ate your macorronni and cheese
If not then I suggest we go under my suite
Get a knock and ill none of talking and turn back my sheets
Get a radio and put one one of C.C.s beats
Then lay your body down as I proceed to breed
And eat your body like potatoe salad and ham
Kissing on the nipples on your candied yams
Squeezing my whipped cream on your lemon meraing
Bass music in the back saturating your brain
To have you moaning screaming swanging and kicking
Beggin for a piece of this Kentucky fried chicken
Freaking you to the bass and fulfilling your dream
And me say you know the body with the southern cousine c.mon

Let me freak ya down 2 da bass baby.
let me freak you down to the bass.
(repeat)X4

I know you made love on satin sheets
But have you ever did it in a chevy Capri
Drop top by the lake skin to skin
With bass music pumpin out your 12.s and 10.s
Body.s full of sweat like we diggin a ditch
The whole car rocking like we hittin a switch
Tricking on the way that I slowly lick
Your body up and down like a chick-o-stick
Cuz when it come to getting freaky there.s no one greater
I freak some now then save some for later
So stop playing hard to get and come chill
With this country bro from outa Jacksonville
So I can mix my rice with your lima beans
Drop my ham hogs and see your mustard greens
And turn you O.U.T. in my B.E.D then wash it all down with a glass of sweet tea
And everything I love imma freak ya well
Tapping on your ears like a S.P. 12
Taking your hip- hop and enhancing the taste
By adding just a pinch of this country fried bass c.mon

Let me freak ya down 2 da bass baby.
Let me freak you down to the bass,(repeat)X4

If you let me stir your body like a bowl of soup
Then ill be softer than the leather in a lexus coupe
Make you wetter than a beach when the tide is high
And have your body feeling sweeter than some pecan pie
You.ll be riding cloud 9 when you flying a plane
Higher than a junkie on some crack cocaine
Happier than a kid playing ball in the park
And crawling up the wall like a roach in the dark
Ill be livin in your body like its Sunday brunch
Swallowing your sweat like its tropical punch
Patiently im waiting on the chance to hunch
Like im waiting on the check around the first of the month
Ill spray your body down in some C.K.B.
And lay it down like im Eightball and MJG
Go and watch braid her turn some tricks
Like im chris watch and nelson and you vanity 6
Investigating your body like the Rockford files
Stabbing like the dagger from the golden child
Making love together kinda nice and slow
To a bass grave beeper have some alga mo
Ill lick your lolly pop till the candy gone
Till im singing mo tired than a brandy song
Sticking to your body like its lesses paste
And Have you screaming yeah boy I like you flava flave
Trying to win your price like the price is right
Singing in your ear like im brian mcknight
All night long like the two man band
And ride up in them sheets like the Ku Klux Klan

Let me freak you down to the bass baby.
Let me freak you down to the bass.
(repeat)until fade

11:47 PM >> Euphemisms

Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
However, whoever denied it supplied it.
But the blamer's the flamer!
You see, if you asked it, you passed it!!
Don't forget: the noter's the floater.

7:51 PM >> Taxes and the 350 thread count

>> Tax season is upon us. Some of us are lucky enough to have a spouse to do all the work. Well, I need a wife who can do taxes for me and tell me what the hell the difference is b/w 250 and 300 thread count sheets. Am I really going to be able to tell.

>> me too, and I don't mean one of those corduroy pillows with arms

>> Me three, I am tired of doing all this crap!

>> that's so funny that you say that b/c 2 days ago I changed our sheets (not new sheets, just freshly laundered) and Tommy goes - are these sheets different than the white ones? I like them much better. Yes, they are much better/higher count sheets, and he did notice. But he says he likes them better because they don't make him too hot. Does that make sense: lower thread count = hotter? My engineering theory is that the tiny holes in the fabric create an airspace which is actually better at holding heat in than more solid cloth. It's why an afghan is so warm... but I don't know if it applies to sheets or if Tommy is just making the whole thing up.

>> You can get really good quality sheets at Marshall's for the same price you'd pay for regular ones at the department store or Target.

>> I always buy sheets at Marshalls! Also, my cousin in South Georgia bought a monogramming machine (apparently, these are $$?) and I send her my stuff and she monograms it for me!

>> Have you guys ever run out of clean bedding and had to use those brown paper towels?

>> What the hell are you talking about?

>> Those really rough, scratchy brown paper towels that come on huge, industrial rolls. You have to wrap your mattress in those when all of your sheets are in the wash.

>> Am I the only one who thinks this sounds off? ;)

>> perfectly normal...in case you pee in the bed...right?

>> Sometimes you have to wash the sheets because of pee, but typically you have to hold it all night if you are using the paper towels because they are not very absorbent. I just remember my skin would really get chafed sleeping on that crap. I think it is the equivalent of like 2-thread count.

>> I think I missed something. 1) are you serious and 2) are we talking about now or in yester-year?

>> Age 12 and under. (A couple times when age 14.) Am I seriously the only person who remembers sleeping on paper towels? Or did you guys get to sleep on nice Brawny towels or something.

>> this could explain a lot....

7:03 PM >> World Water Day 2005




In honor of World Water Day 2005 if have not flushed my toilet all day long. I did take a shower though. But I was quick about it.

World Water Day falls on March 22nd each year. This year's theme is "Water for Life: 2005-2015". (Is anyone else confused by that? Do we stop caring in 2015? Or maybe there's no more water at that point?)

10:32 AM >> Slaughter mit Urban

I love it when horror flicks run out of sequels that can take place in the sticks so they have to go Urban. Like Leprechaun in the Hood or Jason Takes Manhattan or Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest.

Then of course once the urban market is slaughtered the only place to turn is outer space (Leprechaun 4: In Space, Jason X).

9:01 AM >> Babies don't have pockets

It is a widely known, studied, and reported fact that babies don't have pockets. That's just the way it is. To discount this truth, however, now and again anomalies will surface. A baby may spring forth with an artificial pocket. An attachment. A piece not of baby but affixed to baby. Babies now have OshKosk 'B-overalls or baby backpacks with storage capacity. Don't be fooled, these are not true pockets. They are not pockets in the adult sense of pocket-dom. Mostly they are never used, or it's the parents doing the pocketing of baby's paci or baby's mitten, or the pocket is just a decorative piece of the clothing to make the baby appear to be more adult in their dress, which people think is so cute.

Until recently I suffered from not enough pockets. I had so much stuff that I was hauling around in my pockets that I began to be weighted down. I'd forget which pocket something was in. Or I had difficulty fishing for the item at hand in my over-stuffed pockets. That was until recently.




Relief. I found the product that relieved my pocket problem. My utility holster from Pock-Its is the solution. I can fit the whole kitchen sink in there. It attaches to belts. Items are easy to find. It's fun. It's cool. It's durable. And the kiddies love it. But not the babies. Well, maybe the babies. Actually, yeah, I bet a baby would look ultra cool with one of these strapped to its bibbers.

12:45 AM >> right here, right now

it's right now, one of those times when there're so many thoughts going through my head about what to do and where i can go and what to take and creativity flowing like a crazy mofo and i don't even have time to stop and write anything down, let alone make a checklist. so i just hope and not pray that i will be able to hold onto just one of the thousand strands running through my mind right now, ribboning out like so much dark highway when you're driving cross-country at 3 am, which i have to admit is one of the recurring themes. but i am just so filled with hope and thoughts of happiness and it feels great and it feels like i am gonna do something, if only i can remember to work on the monkey story tomorrow.

12:03 AM >> CONFIRMATION

Holy crap, Ensign, how pumped are you???

9:51 PM >> Patty and green art

>> For a very complete history of St. Patrick's Day

>> For a look at some art inspired by a green drink. No, not Absinthe, but the Mint Julep.

1:44 PM >> If you missed the oh-so-wacky St. Patty's Day logo

Here 'tis >>

11:57 AM >> St. Patrick's Day Nightmare

Yesterday at work there was this team of three people roving the office with battery-powered electric clippers and giving anyone not wearing green a CREW CUT--even the women!!!

Fortunately I found a green thumbtack and stuck it in my right forearm before they got to me. I mean I've been growing out my locks for a while now, I am not going to shave them off until summertime! (let heat escape to avoid mind-melt)

10:47 AM >> St. Patty

Ah, St. Patty's Day is over. We on the good ship SS Mit Bearden sure hope you enjoyed your green beer and yesterday's wacky logo!

12:08 AM >> 350 thread count




So this is the new bedding. I can't decide how the bed should be made. I think I am partial to option #2, which looks better and doesn't utilize those big fancy fluff pillows that I don't really use. Option #2 really looks like a hotel room though. I have nothing really to comment on about Option #1.

NOTE: On family trips with my family whenever we'd check into a hotel room my brothers and I would jump all over the hotel beds. From one to the other. Face first. With a flip. Etc. So I don't want to give guests the wrong impression when they come over. But I think I like #2. (There is also and unshown Option #3 where you just put the regular black pillows over the top of the bedspread.)

9:13 PM >>


SpyCam photo w/no special tailoring or p-shopping, just perfect timing and a flipped-out sky.

3:53 PM >> M+D == G

Moms == Google before computers existed. [They have 99% of the answers.]
But Dads = Google for questions about cars and home improvement before computers existed.

Of course, even with car and home improvement questions I will go to my Mom and say, "Does Dad know anything about carburetor?" Because you never want to make your Dad admit he doesn't know something. Dads never admit that anyway. They just make crap up if they have to. When Moms don't know something, they give you a hug and a piece of pie. (They both give the baby of the family $20 at this point as well, even is he/she is not going out.)

12:52 AM >> Ah-ha

Here is why we don't have elaborate monkey ceremonies in America.

11:49 PM >> 5 Guests: A Salutation

5:12 PM >> 5 Guests: Seating Assignments


NOTE: Check to be paid by Brad, including margaritas and extra chips.

10:24 AM >> 5 Guests: Menu Selections

If I was invited to dinner tonight, this is what we'd be eating >>

Eminem - #7
Papa John - Super Nachos (Chicken and Beef)
Stephen King - Pork Tamales
Katie Holmes - sharing chicken fajitas for two
Eddy - sharing chicken fajitas for two
* Brad - Hombre Grande Combo

* NOTE: Revised diner engagement attendance.

9:27 AM >> 5 Guests

If I could have dinner with five people tonight, this is who they would be >>

Eminem
Papa John
Stephen King
Katie Holmes
My friend Eddy who is in love with Katie Holmes

4:07 AM >> Bingo 65+




My apartment held BINGO today. I arrived a little late (10.15AM) to a room of six 65+ year old renters playing BINGO in the business center. There were doughnuts (glazed, chocolate, powdered, and bran). There were bran muffins. There were apple slices. Cheese chunks. Strawberries and watermelon that Colonel Emil Woernel ate fervently. And to sip OJ and coffee.

During my first round I won a very grandfatherly IZOD sweater. Other prizes included a fondu set and a throw blanket. The kind you "watch TV to" said the heavily accented older woman.

When asked by the BINGO caller if we were ready to start the next round, the Colonel replied, "I'm just like death, ready when you are." Everyone was in stitches after that comment.

One lady offered me a glazed d-nut but I declined. Next time I'll go on an empty stomach. Monthly bingo blogging you can now be ready for! You can expect that from now on. Because I was invited to join again next month.

I notced in my first round that I had the exact same card as the woman next to me, who once won a $500 pot playing bingo. She was big-tiime. I tried to conceal my win and let the others take the spoils. But they gave me the IZOD sweater anyway.

There were a lot of left overs. The Colonel took a bran muffin home with him. He was totally chowing down on the watermelon and strawberries the whole time too.

I asked when the poker tourney would be, which started two residents off discussing dominoes and all the different games (chicken foot, mexican train, and even playing for money). The elderly and their games. It's so cute.

3:02 PM >> Blood cake


My brother's latest baking endeavor. A blood cake for PJ's birthday. French vanilla cinnamon blood cake. Martha has already contacted him for the recipe.

The purple splotches were made by setting the cake on the floor and taking turns punching each other in the face over it until the blood splatters were just right.

10:32 AM >> How sweet is this!

I wish I had gotten tickets to this event!
Does America even have a "Favorite Monkey?" I mean I don't know, do we do that?
No--maybe in the old days, but right now America is too uptight.
A national monkey would loosen America's girdle, if you know what I mean.

9:29 AM >>

I think you can chart my depressive cycles by the quantity of my blogging activity.
[Quality is another matter.]

10:45 AM >> DISCUS




[* a personalized variation on Catullus 5]

Vivamus, mea Lesbia, atque amemus
Romoresque senum severiorum
Omnes unius aestimemus assis
Soles occidere et redire possunt;
nobis cum semel occidit brevis lux,
Nox est perpetua una dormienda.
Da mi basia mille, deinde centum,
dein millia altera, dein secunda centum,
deindeusque millia, dein centum.
Deinde cum multa millia fecerimus
Conturbabimus illa, ne sciamus
Aut ne quis mala invidere possit,
Cum tantum sciatesse basiorum.

10:30 AM >> English version of a letter written by a guy in France to the States #6

Grandma,

You are so funny. You should really work on that stand up thing. You used to always make me and Gramps laugh.

He had big feet, didn’t he? I used to remember that. One time Grampy took me to swimming class. He was standing off to the edge and me and all the kids yanked on his trousers. He fell in and almost drowned. He would have had it not been for our instructor. Close call.

How are the ashtrays? I bet it is really hard for you to stop smoking. You probably haven’t even thought about it in years. All the hard candy probably works. But what’s the science behind that? Did you see a shrink to help you? They say those guys can really do wonders.

Sugar cookies?

- Love, Claude

12:01 PM >> Two Sides of the Same Coin

5 minutes, 15 minutes, what's the difference?

HEADS
It is a mental difference.

15 minutes >> That is a long time, I mean it's half an episode of The Simpsons.
5 minutes >> That is super-quick, hardly longer than the opening credits of The Simpsons

15 minutes late to work == trouble
5 minutes late to work == not even noticed

Something that takes 5 minutes or less you can do on a whim.
If it's 15 minutes, you have to plan it into your day.

TAILS
I see them as being practically egual.
Sometimes I have shits that are 5 min, sometimes 15 and I don't even notice the difference.

8:08 AM >> Whine and creamed spinach

Here's the deal - my Mom asked me to mock up this happy b-day wine label stuff that she found on the internet for her friends at work. So I did that. These are the results. In all their cheesiness and beauty. And my Mom took me out to dinner. I had the chipotle tilapia. The creamed spinach was awesome.

9:03 PM >> new specs

5:28 PM >> A Reflection upon the Seas

Sailors party don't they? They cuss I know that for sure.
I think sailors party but pirates do not. (They are more into debauchery.)
Every day is a party for a pirate. That's why in order to party they must reach the level of debauchery. Because partying is all relative.
But debauchery is no cakewalk. It takes a lot of concentration and focus to be mean and think up nasty ways to be ornery. Especially while you are partying all day.
Pirate lives are so meta. It's like a big party filled with debauchery which is really just a party and then you gotta go out and rape and pillage again, and that is a party all over again.

10:46 AM >> IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

The Babies are launcing a new endeavor! See the menu-area to the right? See the new section marked Collabs? This is short for Collaborations. See the link to My Current Favorite? This a a place for the Babies & Friends to record their current favorite S for our loyal subscribers to check out. Check it out early and often because we have fickle minds!!!

7:20 AM >> Accidents at home

In a 1997 study it was found that more than 28,000 deaths and 6.8 million injuries occurred from injuries in the home. For me, the story hits very close. I was almost a statistic. Just like those poor poor people in 1997.

I work from home many days. It is terrifying. At creep around every turn, expecting an oncoming 18-wheeler or worse a couger or a black bear with dripping fangs. I walk lightly, not wanting to cause an avalanche of brick, siding, and neighbors. My eyes are always trained just ahead of my steps, lest a misplaced thing like a hidden root or rock should trip me up. Little good is all this accident-conscious paranoia.

Even for those of us cooped up working in our homes traffic sucks. This morning on the way to work I tripped over my cat and bumped into the coffee table on the way out to the back porch. And I came this close [<---->]to getting a speeding ticket.

The danged officer was staked out. A total speed trap. I thought that was illegal or something. He was hiding behind the bookcase in my living room. I came around the corner and BINGO! Blue lights. It was so embarrassing. I tried to play sexy and get out of it, but he wasn't having any of that. Not on a Monday he wasn't.

I didn't get out of it. A court appearance is on the docket for next month. I'll probably plead nolo contendre or something. There's more though. It's quite more serious than a speeding ticket.

The cat's in nasty shape. Real nasty shape. I am fine. Just a tiny scratch on my knee where it hit (and cracked) the dash under my steering wheel. But the cat. Man, bad stuff there. I t-boned her and she went spinning around and whacked her little cat skull into the door jamb. She's in the Feline ICU now.

I hope she pulls through, cause I don't want Vehicular Felicide on my record, whether it is voluntary or involuntary. I do not want that. What would people think? They'd call me a cat killer. I think they would. I don't want that.

The world is a scary place. I don't like to leave my room anymore. There are just too many damn uncertainties out there. Too many unpredictables. Too many people turning into statistics.