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 >> Captain, Corporal, Ensign >>

2.27.2008
6:20 PM >> The Complex

So everyone always talks about the Napoleon Complex, right? Because he was such a shrimpy little Frenchman, right? Well, being 5' 8" (which until recently was actually the standard "average height" for a man, though I always knew it must be more like 5' 10", which it is now), I always figured I would tower over that dude. So imagine my surprise when M and I went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in NYC. As you can see, we were the same height! What a blow to my sense of being.

Now, it should be noted that it turns out that Napoleon was actually not too short: he was 5' 6". In fact, he was taller than average in his time. But I guess he was wearing high-heeled boots at Madame Tussaud's.

Did you know that George Washington was 6' 2" tall? That's only two inches shorter than Abe Lincoln--but 75 years earlier!

I have to admit that I was not too excited to go to a wax museum. It seemed like a really dumb concept to me. Why pay money to look at fancy mannequins of famous people that I see pictures of all the time? But now I have to admit that it was really fun. There is something neat about actually being able to see these famous folks in 3-D and finally see if they are as tall as the magazines make them out to be.

Plus they have Pele there! [wax, not flesh]


 
2.24.2008
3:41 PM >>

Before Eddy got his Wine Making Kit, I didn’t even know you could make wine at home. (I’m an idiot.) So when I heard about this machine of his, I was excited. And let me tell you, sir, this Raisin Port is good. Remember in college when your buddy had a home-brew kit and decided to make some Pumpkin Beer for Halloween and then ended up with a bunch of rotten half-jack o’ lanterns and some crappy beer that you would only drink on Sundays because football was on and you drank all your beer the night before and your live in the stupid-A Bible Belt where you can’t buy beer on Sundays? Well, this is the opposite of that.

For the longest time I was mystified as to how wine could be made from raisins. Raisins by definition are dried fruit, right? So how can you get juice from them? But every time I brought this up, Eddy assured me, “No, you get tons of juice from raisins.” So here I am, sitting at home every night, trying to make sense of this and figuring that he must have used about 4,000 pounds of raisins to get enough juice to make any decent amount of port wine. I was wrong. (Remember that I’m an idiot.) Turns out, as I learned once the wine had been brewed and bottled, that you soak the raisins in some sort of water in order to re-juice them before de-juicing them to make the wine.

The point is, this is a great port. It is very sweet, but then I consider port wine to be a sippy-type dessert drink, so the sweetness is perfect. I would recommend pairing it with a nice cheesecake.


 
2.21.2008
1:07 AM >> EmE:Saturday>>Feb 23>>o8



Einstein meets Elvis: experiments in the rock and roll and science of Long-Form Improvisation.

On 2/23 JaCKPie's Einstein meets Elvis welcomes back Monsieur Mike Brune from his travels abroad. True to EmE form, the welcome back is a little more than special. Elvis will be there. For real. Elvis will be there! Anthony Tedaro and Brad Binkley will be standing before your very eyes to deliver their stand-up, only the way those two can deliver their stand-up... awesome-like.

To round out the science and rock and roll in the most perfect way, Rock City Dropouts will be rockin and rollin some bad-ass, you guessed it, rock and roll! The only way they know how... awesome-like. Rumor has it, and here are the facts, the Rock City Dropouts will debut the brand new Einstein meets Elvis theme song, with Elvis himself on lead vocals.

Of course, Einstein meets Elvis likes sandwiches. So right in the middle of the stand-up and rock and roll Einstein meets Elvis will deliver you Atlanta's only ROCKET FUELED long-form improv. Be there! 11pm. Relapse Theatre. $7/$5 with a student I.D. If you attend the 9:30pm JaCKPie show, you get into the 11pm for $2. That's two shows and a whole lotta improv and awesomeness for $7.

RELAPSE THEATRE
JACKPIE
EINSTEIN MEETS ELVIS

**[THE ASCAP ASK THAT WE NOTE:] >> the EmE theme song: Music written by Shawn Christian (RCD) and lyrics written by Shawn Christian (RCD), Damian Dunn (EmE), Jen Caldwell (EmE) and Jett Bryant (RCD).



 
2.17.2008
3:21 PM >> My fish Mark



A long overdued tribute to the greast fish on the planet. A fish that was my pet for about a week in college. A fish that will live in infamy along with that sacred day in December of 1941. A fish with a mission. A fish with a song. A fish that swims forever in the ventricles of my heart. A fish who spoke but because of the bubbles and stuff not many heard his little brilliant eeks. A fish with a clear conscience. A fish named Mark.



 
2:53 PM >> Interview with a Monster

Cookie Monster Gives Revealing Interview


 
2.16.2008
5:40 PM >> Kids these days...

This is probably the weirdest thing I have come across on the internet. Especially this one. Are kids really doing stuff like this?

[I mean in real life.]


 
2.13.2008
8:45 PM >> Son of a...

I totally forgot the best part about the tangelo: they are super-easy to open. Just Pop the TopTM and you're off!


 
2.08.2008
11:50 PM >> Navel Gazer

A tangelo fruit (Cushman Honeybells)Have you guys ever had a tangelo? They are awesome. I've probably tried almost every citrus fruit, and I think Minneola tangelos, although receiving quite a run for their money in the past few years from clementines, would have to be my favorite. They're seedless, juicy, and taste slightly tangy/sour (like a clementine) (yes there is a pattern here).

My whole life I thought a tangelo was a cross between a navel orange and a tangerine. Turns out I was half right: it's a tangerine crossed with a pomelo(!) or a grapefruit (booooooring).

I'm gonna go eat one of these bad boys right now. SO LONG, SUCKERS.


 
2.07.2008
11:08 PM >> B'ator

BACONATOR.I know you've all been waiting to hear this: I finally got around to eating a Baconator. And it was good. Not life-altering good, but good enough to make eat it twice in a week. Although that was also kind of because the first time I got one I wound up not eating it until two hours after I brought my precious bundle of meat home.

You would think six strips o' bacon would be too much. Then you would be wrong. It actually is the perfect amount of bacon because it ensures that you receive the same area (square inches in this case) of bacon as you do of all of the other layers in every bite.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

The thing that made this burger so tasty, though, tasty enough to warrant a blog entry, is the sauce. I'm still unsure as to whether the sauce is just a combination of ketchup and mayo on the same bun or of it is some sort of special sauce, but whatever the source of the condiment, I liked it.

Did you know the Baconator has been named the official burger of the Canadian Football League?
[Thanks, Wiki. Seriously, read about the B'ator on Wikipedia. There is some great info there.]

[But don't read this guy's review of the B'ator. He obviously is too much of a baby to handle it. What a baby. And not a cute baby.]


 
9:22 PM >> There Will Be...

As requested per Der Kapitän here is the Ensign's "indication as to why 'There Will Be Blood' was good'.

The Ensign's Top 5 Reasons Why the Movie Didn't Suck:

5) I learned something about how to get oil out of the ground. At least how they did it in the olden days.

4) The score by Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood was an appropriate auditorial metaphor for [...spoiler, i don't know, maybe. skip rest of #4 if really sensitive to these things...] the cold hard steele-ish monster/machine that DDL had become.

3) DDL's recreation room at the close was awesome and well worth the 2 hour and 15 minute wait. [possible spoiler image-BE ADVISED!, but not really it doesn't really spoil anything.]

2) Upton Sinclair was a communist.

and #1) It was Free Popcorn Tuesday at the Regal Cinema for Regal Crown Club members (that's me!).



 
2.06.2008
11:10 PM >> Blood Quest

Captain, Ensign, please dispense with your feud. I will see the movie and deliver the deciding vote.

Captain, it looks like Michael from The Office agrees with you.
(You may have to scroll down; his review is on the right.)


 
11:47 AM >> Kill the Pig, Spill its blood, Splatter it!

Notice Ensign could give no indication as to why "There Will Be Blood" was good. However, here are some reasons why the movie sucked:

1) Nobody changed (well, maybe the little kid, but DDL never liked him anyway so who cared)
2) The music was interesting but got very annoying after the first few segments (how many times does the movie need to convey that the mood is dark - I remember when I used to be "dark" - "dark and quiet," in fact - but that did not mean I had to go around acting "dark" and saying "dark" things all of the time.
3) No sympathy for DDL (as the main character, you usually want him to have some redeeming quality besides the ability to make a profit [and I'm an ardent capitalist] - ok, there is one scene where DDL cries because he misses his mommy, but that didn't come close to making anyone feel sorry for him, except maybe Ensign who wept after watching 2 girls 1 cup)
4) The movie actually was not that long - 2 hours 15 minutes about - but it seemed like it took about four hours to watch it
5) I almost left the movie, but then I thought I remembered hearing there was some kind of surprise ending or twist, so I stayed until the end - nothing really that suprising - just the continued unsympathetic rantings and lunacy of DDL's character (although I will admit the last scene in the movie was DDL's best so it was at least entertaining to watch that scene - Hey, the movie ended on a good note, at least!)


 
2.05.2008
11:48 PM >> Here's the blood.

Just so we all know the entertainment views of the Captain are not the collective veiws held by the Babies mit Bearden. There Will Be Blood was a good movie. It wasn't too long and boring. And the blood was delivered. I think the Captain was disappointed that there wasn't more singing and cudley bears in the movie. Go see this movie despite the C's review.



 
2.03.2008
8:11 PM >> Where was the blood?

There was blood when Stephanie and I went to see "There Will Be Blood" this Sunday night. It was Stephanie's blood, running down the stadium seating of Regal Hollywood 24 from her wrists as she made her desperate escape from a 2.5 hour journey through the film that should be nominated for "Most Miserable Experience." Daniel Day Lewis did a great job as a wacked out oil man, but his good performance was strung through a bizarre, confusing and endless film leaving the audience nothing to take home. $19.00 it cost us (student tickets are a whole dollar less than the $10 adult price!), so once we run out of cash on our gift card, we won't be going back to the movies again until somebody else sends us back. I don't care to say anymore, but this movie is worth a warning, even worth a blog by the Captain. What a terrible film. I'd have rather seen the yet to be made sequel to the worst mainstream film of last year, "Music & Lyrics." I think it's called, "You'll still kill yourself if you see this instead of 'There Will Be Blood,' but at least there is a nominally good looking woman in this movie." Goodnight.


 
2.01.2008
12:35 PM >> Raisin Starboard

Ahoy. I've only got a moment, so my message is for a moment only. I sniffed. I sipped. I smiled. I sighed. Ensign's Raisin Port 2007 was a mighty fine batch of sweet spirits. Included in our annual through-work-but-no-longer-working-with-except-for-one friends wine tasting dinner party was a swell specimen, aged for three frosty-temperature enduring weeks, of the Port. Most exotic it was of all of the available tasty offerings, and it was a good wash of our steak fat coated palates. The stench was surprisingly raisiny, and the sip spun a delightful tale of the slow ooze of refinement that came forth from the dark, wrinkly dots. We plugged the bottle back up after a sip each, as the potion's strength is nothing to abuse, and our party looks forward to what Ensign's vineyard provides in the coming year. Something vintage this Port will be in 2019, but its newness today is nothing short of a gallop among daisies in the dew.


 
 
[riddle wrapped in
enigma stuffed inside
burrito swallowed by
whale sprayed to
sea captured by UFO]

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