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 >> Captain, Corporal, Ensign >>

9.27.2006
11:36 PM >> Kiss the 7

It's very important that people adopt mottos for themselves. Mine of late is Kiss the 7. It is non-sensical but when I tell people, "Yeah, have I told you my new motto? It's Kiss the 7." What happens is they look contemplative and shake their heads. After thinking on it for a breif one they always go, "That's good. That's a good one. I really like it." They don't even know what it means. Me neither. But it's instant cred to have a motto and to really believe in it. Not believe in it's meaning so much. But to really take it on and say it all the time and make love to it. To really be gung ho about it. Say it with sex in your voice. It really works.

KISS THE SEVEN.

SIDE NOTE: I just acquired three new books from the lobby of my apartment that were left. One is some compilation of notes or something by Jack Kerouac and the other two are Norton Anthologies one of English literature and the other of World literature.


 
9.25.2006
12:23 AM >> 30 year old ice cream social

Hey, Dumbies. Just kidding. Come on. So my friend Ben hosted an ice cream social for my 30th birthday. It was bring your own toppings. Heath bar was the most popular topping brung. Least used topping I think was the sprinkles. I pulled a first with bringing the meat to the table. Whoever brought the Easy Cheese and Hummus -- that was genius. Raspberries receive the nice touch award. We stomped on a package of Oreo cookies to get them to the desired crushedness. And thanks so much to Broham for cooking up the appetizers -- pizza bites and half cooked fries. And the most nostalgic topping goes to Pickle for bringing the Magic Shell. He also brought tiny dill pickles which I was supposed to put on my split but totally forgot.

B'gette brought the tiny Pickles. B'gette tiny pickles. Sorry.

The reason that I forgot was that I greated a special recipe banana split just for the occasion. It is called The 30 Year Old Split. Ben asked me to go ahead and create some marketing material. Below you can see the table tents that I design and placed all over the place.



You're thinking sick, I know. But it was good. It was a 6.23. You can see the layers for yourself on the table tent. I added two additional ingredients that were available at the party. They were 4 cherries and some peanut crumbles.

It was a lot of fun. I also made a whole giant batch of B.PB.B for people to sample. I used a total full bundle of bananas and all but 4 slices of bacon from a pack of turkey bacon. As the ratings come in I'll keep you posted.

Here's a pretty shot of Th30YrOS. And a staged aftershot of the remains of the party when everyone left.



Thanks for the wonderful party Ben and Vera. And Jason I totally beat you to the blog. Nice try. Nice photos of me and tommy for the b-day present. Thanks for the providing me the memory.


 
9.24.2006
3:46 PM >> Ram Jam explosion

Yesterday I purchased 3 Ram Jam Lites from Quik Trip for $4. One I drank right away. One I placed in the fridge for later. And one was put in the freezer cause I was planning on making a to-go drink for later in the day. I made my to-go drink which is a technical cooling technique developed by The Corporal. You layer the frozen drink in tin foil and paper towel to contain the temperature of the drink. It worked just fine.

Now when I got home I had a suspicion that I had left the wrong Ram Jam in the freezer. I peeked in the freezer. This is what I found:



Please go to the Ram Jam website and see the story of Billy who is the Ram Jam mascot. Also check out the stories of the other cast of characters in the QT energy drink family.


 
9.22.2006
10:19 AM >> ballad becomes saga



The ballad of GC (Gray Climax) now becomes a saga. Honestly I forget what generation of GC this makes it. But I'll guess. We'll say this is GC.06.

Gray was taken to the repair shop yesterday. His clutch needs replacing. I can't wait to have him back all new and healthy and slick. He lately has been so curmudgeony lately it was a bit depressing.



Don't tell GC that I went out to Kelley Blue Book. It would break his heart. Let's just hope it's not nearing curtains for GC and there's still a couple more lives left in him.



 
9.17.2006
5:37 AM >> Stuffed pepper time

Meet the ROASTED STUFFED SERRANO PEPPER W/FROM SCRATCH RED SAUCE



the process > serrano pepper roasted and placeD in brown bag to "smoke it up" >> then stuffed with mashed potats and pepper jack cheese >> in the meantime a sauce was created with: oil, apple cider vinegar, butter, sauteed onions, water, a series of spices which were mushed up with my new mortar and pestal set [garlic power/minced, cumin, crushed red pepper, pepper, chili powder, and salt, katsuP, lemon juice, tomato paste. >> peppers where stuffed and covered with sauce and baked with some onion slices and cheese on top.



RATING: 9.07



Two sponsors made this event totally possible. They were 1) the new Pepsi Jazz [Strawberries and Cream - the Black Cherry French Vanilla flavor suxxs] and 2) Formula 409 for cleanup.


 
9.12.2006
9:28 PM >> the missing egg

I present my case >>



My presumptions are >>
1. Sunday morning someone in my apartment was hungry for an egg.
2. They stole said egg from my egg carton.

Problems with presumed presumptions >>
z. I live alone.
y. Have yet to spot any ghostly or "other worldly" sightings in my apartment.

Presumptions #Two and #Three >>
pTw-1. A jealous vegetable abducted the egg in question.
pThr-1. Likewise a jealous fruit abducticated egg.

Problems with secondly afore stated presumps >>
xpTw-1. On the Sunday morning in question the vegetable crisper was empty.
xpThr-1. Correspondingly the fruit drawer was vacant illa antemeridian.

Other information of importance to case >>
misc.i, exhibit-b) The three egg eye witnesses all report to have been slumbering and have no further light to shed on the events of the evening prior to or the morning of the disappearance of the missing egg.
misc.i, exhibit-d) For a complete listing of the nutrition facts of a normal old egg in a carton.


 
9.10.2006
4:24 AM >> One week beard



[This] is the facial growth I am capable of cultivating in one week. Diet and exercise are key growth stimulant factors. Yes, most definitely, excessive amounts of fiber and niancin and B12 and vitC are essential players in stimulating healthy growth. Mental immersement too is a key FG stimulator.

Do send $5.95 and (1) SASE to recieve your very own detailed weekly regimen for making your very own healthy-all-natural beard. Don't hesitate. Don't waver. Call. Now. Make it happen for you.

It totally happened for me.


 
9.06.2006
11:22 PM >> Cpt. Mad Scientist

[Q.E.D. >> I am mad scientist. And the captain, not the coach.]



[1. don't park this close to people. ], [2. mini-aircraft carrier slaw dog.]



 
9.04.2006
9:29 AM >> New births

My plants Prez and Eric have both labored and given new birth. The offspring are very healthy. So cute, too. And I'm not just saying that cause I'm kinda the father. They really are adorable. Baby Eric hasn't opened his eyes yet. Baby Prez drools all the time.



 
9.02.2006
12:42 AM >> Making a mustache



[some clicking points: ELECTRIC RAZOR, DOMINANT HAND, SMIRK, FAMOUS TEACHERS.]


 
 
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enigma stuffed inside
burrito swallowed by
whale sprayed to
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