9:54 AM >> Driving on the Interstate Sucking in Bleach Fumes

JAZZ >>
Fingering golden pipes double-handed along with Davis. Tis-tis, ba-dum-ing along with Jones. Flittering beside Coltrane through the breeze. Skipping heavily on the boardwalk in stride with Chambers. And tip-toeing the crowds at runaway speeds on the verge of toppling side by side with Monk.

INTESTINAL SUNDAE >>
Sideways - Hell. Inside-out is the sight of the inverted regurgitate hairball scene. Skin at the heart. Blood and guts and juices exposed. Fully exposed. Unprotected by any layer of epiderma. The calluses are nothing. They are buried so deep their once toughened resistant shield is now eaten. A dirt clod thrown into a puddle. Mud again. Then, fine creek bed silt. Sun-dried molecules losing their bonds. The body fell apart. Dripped. Melted. Nothing gelled with the skin sunk in blackness. Fading to molecular grain. Thinning to invisibility. Slipping off. A gooey runoff of innards. Bones collapse. A slowly melting banana split. A nut covered fudge sundae of glands, muscle, veins, and spit under noon-day heat. Brains and intestines endlessly snacking earthworms sticking to, drying, and cracking on the pavement over-well. A dirty, bloody, stinking mess on the cul-de-sac of an Earth turned inside-out. Hold the Reddi-Whip, please.

3:33 PM >> Gas boycott

Have people lost their minds? Does anyone really think that not buying gas on one day will have any affect on the distributors. They will "choke on their stockpiles"? Hmm... only to dispense them out the next day when everybody suddenly needs to buy gas.

We can all argue and debate about what should be done about our dependence on foreign oil and rising gas prices, and about anything for that matter, but please lets stop with empty-headed plots at spoiling the system. Instead, maybe everybody should buy gas naked for a day. That will really draw attention. Call it "Gas or Garb Day," and have some old woman say that she had to choose between driving to the vet and buying a bra.

1:00 AM >>

Went to a raffle tonight, didn't win shit.
Tomorrow I build a garden box. Then we'll see who wins what >>

The plants win a nice home.
I win vegetables.
The fire ants win a watery grave.

12:35 AM >>

Can someone tell me what plant sterols are? I know they put them in my OJ to help lower my cholesterol.
It would be weird if your sister got a boob job.
My hair never looks good these days until right before bedtime.
For some reason I always feel really good about myself when I eat strawberries. Maybe it is all of the red, berry goodness bursting inside.
The good news is that landscaping timber is super cheap. The bad news is I have only a 30% clue as to how to make a garden box from it.

10:00 PM >>

I want so badly to be a writer, but I "never have time" to write. Especially now that we have bought a house; it seems all my time is taken up by landscaping and interior decorating and changing toilet seats. I have no clue how to rectify this. Though I have begun scheduling my day in 30 minute increments. May have to go down to 15 minutes, however.

On the plus side, we won the indoor soccer championship tournament last night!!! No goals for me, but my ball handling and carrying and holding [snicker] was a lot better than it had been the whole season. Now I just need the guts to take the ball at a defender when they give me the space.

12:30 PM >>

It's amazing what a difference some food and a bit of caffeine makes. A bag of baked Doritos and one Diet Dr. Pepper later (geez, does my snacking sound like a girl these days or what?), I am ready to rip through some documentation writing. (Just gotta add DJ Shadow pumping through the headphones to be unstoppable--GUNS BLAZING.)

I keep smelling banana each time I eat a Dorito because there was a banana on the bag. It is a super-weird (and slightly confusing) effect.

12:43 AM >>

What is it about hobbits that makes them so damn endearing? I really think I am going to read The Hobbit again. Starting tomorrow.

This is the phrase that I am really into saying right now: "Your face in a bean bag."

And finally, have you seen the two super-sweet burgers out right now from Dairy Queen and Krystal? (no "s", though you think it needs one... Just like Kroger...)

12:42 PM >>

It's interesting when you lick your thumb and there is a distinct taste to it, though you don't remember sticking it on anything.

10:04 AM >>

The sandwich sat out for eight hours, but I ate it anyway. (At least I replaced the piece of bread with mayonnaise on it.)

1:30 PM >> Randoms

Right now I just want to put a fried egg on everything, especially a steak or a spicy black bean burger.

My unfortunate habit is being at work for about an hour before I realize my fly is down.

One of the coolest effects is when you're driving on the highway in the rain, listening to the constant rat-tat-tat-tat of the drops hitting your windshield, then you go under an overpass, and all the noise stops, just for a second or two, before starting back up again in one great burst when you emerge. Such a great blend of percussionary effect and anticipation.
[P.S. I love the phrase "under an overpass"--seems like it is redundant or there should be a quicker way of saying that.]