10:34 PM >> The Big Three-Oh

I just got back from the beach. This trip for me was all driving fast and turning 30 (creaky joints and depressed tongue) and salty water and speeding ticket. Every day I would claim a sophisticated buzz on the beach interrupted only by a turkey/salami/colby jack cheese sandwich heated in the microwave for 30 seconds. Plus Baked Doritos and some fruit snacks. The same thing every day because a 30-year-old stomach is very delicate. And then on the last night I drank half of a Long Island Iced Tea.

M made me a birthday surprise cake and my friends were all Easy Cheese and gummi candies and beef sticks since I love them so much. I mean there was even a gummi pizza. How fucking awesome is that. The last night M got mad when I threw my wedding ring across the patio in front of the bongo and keyboard band (1 speaker, $10 cover), but can you really blame her. Don't worry, the ring is titanium.

Adam would sit and watch the pizzas bake with eggs cracked on top. I think he was hypnotized or just wishes he were a fried egg. The last day he got sunburned a little, so maybe I am on to something.