8:09 PM >> Steel Reserve the Citation

For the following story I must first introduce you to my new friend. His name is Steel Reserve lager brewed in Fort Worth, Texas. Steel Reserve is a very cheap beer. That's why he is my friend. Steel Reserve is 6.0% alcohol by volume that's where my story begins I think. But let me first give you a little rundown of my buddy Steel's stats and such. (If you like to see Steel on the web, clicky HERE.)

• You already know Steel hails from Fort Worth (that's Texas).
• Steel is a High Gravity lager. I don't know what that has to do with anything, maybe that's a fancy way of saying 6.0% alcohol by volume.
• Steel has extra barley and select hops for extra gravity. Oh, that explains everything. I don't think the average cheap beer drinker gives a toot what the gravity of the beer is that they are drinking. Unless it gets you drunk quicker. Then, it may be a good thing to put the kinda information on the cans and in the commercials.
• Steel is slow brewed for a minimum of 28 days. Again, who really cares. 28 days, five minutes -- beer is beer, right? It is when you pay less than $6 for a 12.
• Steel has an exceptionally smooth flavor. Debatable.
• Steel has a special "two eleven" mark on all its cans. This symbol is based on the medieval symbol for steel. Wow, I am impressed.

So on we go. Me and my buddy Steel decide to take a walk. It's like 3 in the morning. I was trying to order a pizza online and was having no luck. So in my high gravity state I thought that a local pizza place up the street would still be open and serving. Dumbass me. Nevertheless, I was really hungry. Steel wasn't. He just came along for the walk. Just as I came around the corner, there in the parking lot was a police car. And there walking hand in hand with me was Steel. Cooley's Pizza was long since closed. I peered into the empty and dark storefront. Then on went the lights and the questioning started. The officer poured out the remainder of my buddy in the parking lot. Then he went back to his car while I stood in front of his car wobbling. He wrote me a citation for open container and gave me a lift home. I got out of the patrol car, waved goodbye, and went inside for a little comfort from my dumbass mistake from another buddy that was hanging out in the fridge.