10:54 PM >> Sooner or later I'll own Generals...

So here I am on the road again, this time touching down in Memphis, Tennessee. Not sure how I feel about that... No, I know exactly how I feel: traveling for work sucks almost to high heaven. But I ate at Bahama Breeze tonight on the patio, and the sweetly colored, slightly cloudy sky as the sun went down combined with the constant warm breezes swirling about--as well as the Coronas I was sucking down--made me almost forget where I was stuck and think I truly was at the beach enjoying a meal of fresh tiger prawns.

If I had to guess, I would say that all hotels get their irons out of a garbage dump somewhere. Doesn't matter where you are staying, the irons always either emit no heat or are so stained with crap on the bottom (Where does this black crap come from, anyway? What are you people ironing on your vacations???) that they are rendered virtually useless.

I wonder: when kids are outside of stores selling candy or magazine subscriptions or trips to Pluto in order to raise money for church or band or soccer (and in turn earn prizes for their sales ranging from a t-shirt to a trip to Pluto), and they address me as "Sir," do they really see me as a grown-up authority figure, or do they simply call me that because of my beard?

And I never thought I would say this, but I cannot wait to shave off my beard. But first I must wear it into the ocean and taste the salty brine caught within its net.