2:12 AM >> Fruity fruity, y'all!

Apparently the researchers for Kroger fruit snacks think that kids only want blue fruit snacks. Blue is a good flavor and all, but I prefer to eat my fruit snacks two at a time, and I like to have two separate flavors. Unfortunately, these days it seems you get 75% blue snacks per pack. There has never been a more appropriate time to ask: WTF man? I guess I am just out of touch with the 8-to-10-year-old snacking demographic.

Ahhhh... Opened a fresh pack, and only one out of nine pieces is blue! How e-mazing is that? The blog isn't even posted yet! You gotta hand it to the internet--it's got a quick turnaround!!!

If you have never had a vegetarian corn dog, you really should give them a whirl. Actually, no you shouldn't--there is no point in that because the cool thing is that they taste just like regular corn dogs, but they are more expensive, so what is the point? (There is no point, pay attention.) But if you are on a low-fat anti-cholesterol diet [like me], THEN you should eat them. Now!

Always bake your corn dogs. Do not microwave. But plan ahead because it takes about 20 minutes. It is super-worth-it, though.
Trust me.

Next, coat the CD in Texas Pete Hot Sauce. Fill a small bowl with yellow mustard (or squirt onto plate). Then dip and enjoy.
Obey me.