Babies mit Bearden

Grow a Pirate Experiment: welcomehello>>7.9

2009-02-22T19:32:00.005-05:00

This 2009 September 19th is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I want to celebrate early. I am going to do so by following a friends advice. My friend Ben sent me a Grow a Pirate kit. He was quite excited [see photog below]. And I can see why. These things grow to 600% of their original size. If I grew 600% of my size I'd be almost 36 feet tall. That's big. Well this pirate is going to be about 6 inches tall if he gets all the nutrients and such that he needs.

I imagine that his technology for growth is the same as Shrinky Dinks. This whole experiment will take approximately 10 days. And then the thing shrinks and I can do it all over again. I plan to keep you posted the entire time.

[photog below >>]

Keep up on your Pirate talk and try out this Pirate Translator. Amaze your friends and offend your enemies.

This is the best Ninja website in the world.

PP2K9 - PICKLE PROJECT

2009-01-11T22:40:00.003-05:00

IT'S THE 2009 PICKLE PROJECT. GET ON IT.
HERE'S THE SUBJECTS OF THE EXPERIMENT>>

AND HERE'S ALL MY HYPOTHESES AND SUCH>>
PP #1A (1/11/2009) White asparagus. 3 cloves garlic, about 15 white pepper corns. 1 sliced red jalepeno. 1tsp dill, cayenne pepper, crushed red pepper. And a boiled brine of 2c water, 3c vinegar, 1/2c of pickling salt.

PP #2B1 & B2 (1/11/2009) Okra. 1 clove garlic, about 8 white pepper corns. 1/2 sliced red jalepeno. 1tsp turmeric and crushed red pepper (per whole batch). And a boiled brine of 2c water, 3c vinegar, 1/2c of pickling salt (pwb).

PP #3A (1/11/2009) Cukes. 2 clove garlic, about 15 white pepper corns. 1tsp turmeric, mustard, and dill. And a boiled brine of 3c water, 2c vinegar, 3/4c of pickling salt.

PP #3B SMALL BATCH (1/11/2009) Cukes. 2 clove garlic, about 15 white pepper corns. 1tsp turmeric, mustard, and dill. And a boiled brine of 3c water, 2c vinegar, 3/4c of pickling salt. [n: Used leftover brine from PP #3A.]

PP #4A (1/11/2009) Cukes. 2tsp pickling spice. 1tsp turmeric, mustard, and dill. And a boiled brine of 3c water, 2c vinegar, 1/4c of pickling salt, 1 1/4c sugar.

PP #4B SMALL BATCH (1/11/2009) Cukes. 2tsp pickling spice. 1tsp turmeric, mustard, and dill. And a boiled brine of 3c water, 2c vinegar, 1/4c of pickling salt, 1 1/4c sugar. [n: Used leftover brine from PP #4\A.]

Beard poster

2008-12-08T21:15:00.000-05:00

If you're looking for a little extra winter warmth. Do it. Grow a beard. And grow it right. Match your FACE with the right beard for you. Have fun. Stay warm.

MEAD AND MEAD 2

2008-11-25T09:55:00.000-05:00

THE MEAD HAS BEEN BOTTLED SUCCESFULLY. TASTE IS GREAT. THERE IS QUITE A NOTICABLE DIFFERENCE IN THE EXPERIMENTAL BATCH THAT HAD DRIED SWEET ORANGE PEEL ADDED DURNING THE RACKING. BOTH HAVE A SWEET HONEY FINISH.

"It's the right time to SMiLE"

2008-10-31T12:25:00.000-05:00

Here's an essay I wrote once that somehow ended up on wikipedia. Check it out. It was written after seeing BW perform SMiLE at the Royal Festival Hall in London on Feb 20th 2004.

A Tiny Little Essay, by Eddifus

Dunney's Braised Crock Pot Ribs

2008-10-30T20:37:00.000-05:00

Here they are being extracted from the crock after 10 hours of cooking. Secret addition is two scoops of peanut butter. There's enough left over that tomorrow I'll be having a BBQ Peanut Butter Rib Sandwich with Pickles. Um. These are so so good. Glorious. Crock pots rule.

Behind the scenes: Subterranean Homesick Munny

2008-10-06T00:54:00.000-05:00

Ping Pong Basketballs

2008-09-28T13:37:00.000-05:00

HERE'S ONE FROM THE VAULTS >>

Subterranean Homesick Blues

2008-09-18T19:48:00.000-05:00

EmE goes on the road to Jackson, MS.

2008-09-11T20:30:00.001-05:00

Einstein meets Elvis goes on the road this weekend (Sept. 12) to take part in the Southeastern Comedy Arts Alliance Festival. This is their 3rd year running with the festival. They've chased it all over Mississippi and are thrilled to be visiting Jackson this time around. They will be performing Saturday evening at Hal and Mal's.

They'll be pushing off Friday morning. As tradition has it the first stop of their marathon roadtrip will be at the Cracker Barrel off I-20 not too far from the Six Flags.

McDaniel are you listening?

2008-09-03T14:14:00.000-05:00

Dear McDaniel, will you endorse my fall mead? Please. It's enter 2nd racking and should be read for bottling in a month. The drinkingable soonly after. I need your permission to use your name. Please McD. Please.

2008 Mead is On!

2008-08-01T17:57:00.001-05:00

The primary fermentation of my 2008 Mead has begun and the yeast has now been pitched. It is on! It is on. Mead is a fermented alcohol made of honey. Mine is a 5 gallon batch and contains 14 pounds of grade A fancy honey. Check out the wonders of >> honey <<.

Scottish Bag Piping Gladiator v2

2008-07-25T12:25:00.000-05:00

Here here is a side by side comparison taking you from design to completion of the Scottish Bag Piping Gladiator >>

Scottish Bag Piping Gladiator

2008-07-08T18:17:00.000-05:00

BMBCIF11.2K8-/A

2008-06-10T12:05:00.000-05:00

CHECK OUT THIS BMB APPROVED LINK TO VIDDY SOME PICS FROM BABIES MIT BEARDEN'S TRIP TO CHICAGO FOR THE 2K8 CHICAGO IMPROV FESTIVAL.

RUBBER CHICK NO EYE

2008-05-27T14:54:00.000-05:00

In this dream I owned a farm. We had pigs. We had cows. We grew soy. And we grew corn. In my sleep within the dream I was visited by an aparition who told me that my farm would be destroyed if...

And he never finished. So when I woke the next morning and took the slop bucket out to the hogs I was visited again. The aparition in the daylight took the form of a 30 foot high rubber chicken. He told me to sell the farm. He told me to leave the country. He asked if I could give him a lesson on running the combine. I did and then I packed up the family we moved away.

We moved to the far east. We became monks of the far east. We surrounded ourselves with flowers and wore robes and took baths in waterfalls. In the evenings we would pray and work on our medition.

I wonder how the farm is.

Photoshopping Jesus 2.0

2008-05-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

Here's a new one inspired by JC's biggest rival next to ole' Luciferous.

Photoshopping Jesus

2008-04-28T18:46:00.001-05:00

By Divine Providence I was guided to create a series of photoshop portraits of my friend Jesus. Here are the results of my theological experiments. Please click on the photos for a more detailed visage. >>

This is JESUS, THE MUSTACHE, AND THE LAMB (on left) inspired by thoughts of Karma and the television show My Name is Earl and it is also inspired by lambs. And then JESUS WITH A DONEGAL (on right) inspired by the docu-film Growin' a Beard.

And here is my Jesus homage to Boston athletics with JESUS THE SOUTHIE (on left) inspired by Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz. And JESUS THE GOALIE (on right) inspired by Boston Bruins goalie Gerry Cheevers.

JESUS AND THE FILET-O-FISH inspired by Jesus' parable of the fishes and loaves and also by McDonald's Filet-o-Fish sandwich.

A Special Note from The Corporal:

2008-04-24T17:15:00.000-05:00

Somehow I totally screwed up my Google Account. I mean big-time. So I can no longer log into this blog to blog. F. That’s why I’ve been go so long. Which you probably didn’t notice since I’m so erratic to begin with. We are working on porting the current blog to another blog (including history). So in the meantime I will have to post the lame third-party blogs via the Ensign. At least until he gets annoyed by this.

Omelette Happy

2008-04-21T18:17:00.000-05:00

A wonderful omelette. I've had a couple of days off work now, which has given me some time to make some really yummy omelettes. At first they were mushrooms onions and tomatoes and parmesean cheese. And of course with fresh basil and thyme. Then I ran out of mushrooms. So I started adding some leftover roast chicken. Then I discovered that I had some fresh oregano also. I started using that too. Then I ran out of onions. That's when I switched to scallions. So the last one that I had this morning was scallions, roast chicken, tomato, and I had just purchased some pepper jack cheese, which was perfect cause I was getting tired of the parm. The pepper jack worked perfectly. It had a really nice melt to it. I think I'm going to give the omelettes a rest for a few days though.

The biscuit with orange looking stuff on it is a biscuit with papaya jelly that I made. The jelly is so perfect and goes great on a fluffy biscuit. I haven't tried it yet on toast. The picture below will give you an idea of the papaya stuff I've been doing. I learned this papaya in syrup thing from my Aunt. It's a traditional Puerto Rican dish I guess. That's where she's from. And that's where I first had it. It is usually served on top of cheese (white cheese). I have found that it is also excellent warmed in the mircowave and put over ice cream.

Wine Bottle Platoon Army

2008-03-31T20:17:00.002-05:00

Hey hey, Last SUNDAY (meaning two of them ago) I did the bottling. Then last week I applied some labels. I couldn't decide on the particular label to use so I used all of them. Each one made it onto a couple of bottles at least. Thank everyone who voted. You all win. Yeah, You! Here are all of the options that I was toying with.

This wine is great. It's quite tasty. Smooth and sweet. It's best chilled. Really yummy. And very diff from the Raisin Port. I'll post some reviews when the enthusiasts have had a chance to chime in. As well there will be some sort of tasting party and apricot eating experience when the Spring really does roll around. Enough with this bullshit fakey weather we keep having. When it's for really Spring and for sure, when there are no doubts about the weather and guarantees that we'll have no more freezing weather then we'll have the party.

PICTURED: The little army of wine bottles (pre-labels). Their leader is the corker--that contraption that looks like a Transformer.

"Can you say Dustin?"

2008-03-09T02:52:00.000-05:00

Here's a little video SIDESHOW of my brother learning to say his name back in '82. Check it out relive the days of '82--the films, the cassette recorders, and the pajamas.

Apricots are coming.

2008-03-08T16:02:00.000-05:00

Expected in March will be the bottling of Apricot Wine. This is my second wine that was made from a can of concentrated apricot (both juice and pieces). I am working through some label ideas right now.

Below is me taking a sample of the wine before racking and sweetening a couple of days ago. Look how dang clear it is. It clouded up a bit after I added some apricot nectar for sweetening. But hopefully that will clear out.

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>08.t]

2008-03-02T23:38:00.002-05:00

CATALOGUE KEY >>

BREAKFAST BREAKDOWN > the most important meal of the day consisted daily of: eggs, toast, meat, fruit, salsa, coffee, water, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

LUNCH NOTES > for lunch there were many choices including a burger/nacho/fried stuff bar, a rotating ethnic bar, a pizza bar, a deli window, a full on buffet, and an asian window. I had all but the B/N/FS bar and the A window. Pictured is a wrap selection from the deli window and a plate of French themed foods from the ethnic bar.

DINNERS +DESSERTS > [++(yellow): wilted spinach salad, pumpkin soup n.p., mussels, lobster, shrimp, broccoli, risotto, & cherries jubilee, espresso] [--meal not pictured: asparagus soup, iceberg wedge, lamb rack w/winter veggies, & vanilla creme brulee, espresso; midnight snack: deChevere pizza] [++(teal): salad, some fancy soup n.p., beef wellington, & maybe a banana cream pie square; midnight snack: grilled reuben] [++(blue): a shrimp, smoked salmon, other uncooked fish and eggs, fancy soup, white fish of sort and veggies and cream sauce, & rich chocolate square, capucino; midnight snack: midnight buffet] [++(green): escargot, prime rib, potato, corn, & fancy port cheese, espresso, vanilla stuff] [++(orange): & this dessert was featured with the meal not pictured it is a spiced cake with some ice cream and a fancy design]

The Complex

2008-02-27T18:20:00.001-05:00

So everyone always talks about the Napoleon Complex, right? Because he was such a shrimpy little Frenchman, right? Well, being 5' 8" (which until recently was actually the standard "average height" for a man, though I always knew it must be more like 5' 10", which it is now), I always figured I would tower over that dude. So imagine my surprise when M and I went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum in NYC. As you can see, we were the same height! What a blow to my sense of being.

Now, it should be noted that it turns out that Napoleon was actually not too short: he was 5' 6". In fact, he was taller than average in his time. But I guess he was wearing high-heeled boots at Madame Tussaud's.

Did you know that George Washington was 6' 2" tall? That's only two inches shorter than Abe Lincoln--but 75 years earlier!

I have to admit that I was not too excited to go to a wax museum. It seemed like a really dumb concept to me. Why pay money to look at fancy mannequins of famous people that I see pictures of all the time? But now I have to admit that it was really fun. There is something neat about actually being able to see these famous folks in 3-D and finally see if they are as tall as the magazines make them out to be.

Plus they have Pele there! [wax, not flesh]

2008-02-24T15:41:00.000-05:00

Before Eddy got his Wine Making Kit, I didn’t even know you could make wine at home. (I’m an idiot.) So when I heard about this machine of his, I was excited. And let me tell you, sir, this Raisin Port is good. Remember in college when your buddy had a home-brew kit and decided to make some Pumpkin Beer for Halloween and then ended up with a bunch of rotten half-jack o’ lanterns and some crappy beer that you would only drink on Sundays because football was on and you drank all your beer the night before and your live in the stupid-A Bible Belt where you can’t buy beer on Sundays? Well, this is the opposite of that.

For the longest time I was mystified as to how wine could be made from raisins. Raisins by definition are dried fruit, right? So how can you get juice from them? But every time I brought this up, Eddy assured me, “No, you get tons of juice from raisins.” So here I am, sitting at home every night, trying to make sense of this and figuring that he must have used about 4,000 pounds of raisins to get enough juice to make any decent amount of port wine. I was wrong. (Remember that I’m an idiot.) Turns out, as I learned once the wine had been brewed and bottled, that you soak the raisins in some sort of water in order to re-juice them before de-juicing them to make the wine.

The point is, this is a great port. It is very sweet, but then I consider port wine to be a sippy-type dessert drink, so the sweetness is perfect. I would recommend pairing it with a nice cheesecake.

EmE:Saturday>>Feb 23>>o8

2008-02-21T01:07:00.000-05:00

Einstein meets Elvis: experiments in the rock and roll and science of Long-Form Improvisation.

On 2/23 JaCKPie's Einstein meets Elvis welcomes back Monsieur Mike Brune from his travels abroad. True to EmE form, the welcome back is a little more than special. Elvis will be there. For real. Elvis will be there! Anthony Tedaro and Brad Binkley will be standing before your very eyes to deliver their stand-up, only the way those two can deliver their stand-up... awesome-like.

To round out the science and rock and roll in the most perfect way, Rock City Dropouts will be rockin and rollin some bad-ass, you guessed it, rock and roll! The only way they know how... awesome-like. Rumor has it, and here are the facts, the Rock City Dropouts will debut the brand new Einstein meets Elvis theme song, with Elvis himself on lead vocals.

Of course, Einstein meets Elvis likes sandwiches. So right in the middle of the stand-up and rock and roll Einstein meets Elvis will deliver you Atlanta's only ROCKET FUELED long-form improv. Be there! 11pm. Relapse Theatre. $7/$5 with a student I.D. If you attend the 9:30pm JaCKPie show, you get into the 11pm for $2. That's two shows and a whole lotta improv and awesomeness for $7.

RELAPSE THEATRE
JACKPIE
EINSTEIN MEETS ELVIS

**[THE ASCAP ASK THAT WE NOTE:] >> the EmE theme song: Music written by Shawn Christian (RCD) and lyrics written by Shawn Christian (RCD), Damian Dunn (EmE), Jen Caldwell (EmE) and Jett Bryant (RCD).

My fish Mark

2008-02-17T15:21:00.000-05:00

A long overdued tribute to the greast fish on the planet. A fish that was my pet for about a week in college. A fish that will live in infamy along with that sacred day in December of 1941. A fish with a mission. A fish with a song. A fish that swims forever in the ventricles of my heart. A fish who spoke but because of the bubbles and stuff not many heard his little brilliant eeks. A fish with a clear conscience. A fish named Mark.

Interview with a Monster

2008-02-17T14:53:00.006-05:00

Cookie Monster Gives Revealing Interview

Kids these days...

2008-02-16T17:40:00.000-05:00

This is probably the weirdest thing I have come across on the internet. Especially this one. Are kids really doing stuff like this?

[I mean in real life.]

Son of a...

2008-02-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

I totally forgot the best part about the tangelo: they are super-easy to open. Just Pop the Top^TM and you're off!

Navel Gazer

2008-02-08T23:50:00.001-05:00

Have you guys ever had a tangelo? They are awesome. I've probably tried almost every citrus fruit, and I think Minneola tangelos, although receiving quite a run for their money in the past few years from clementines, would have to be my favorite. They're seedless, juicy, and taste slightly tangy/sour (like a clementine) (yes there is a pattern here).

My whole life I thought a tangelo was a cross between a navel orange and a tangerine. Turns out I was half right: it's a tangerine crossed with a pomelo(!) or a grapefruit (booooooring).

I'm gonna go eat one of these bad boys right now. SO LONG, SUCKERS.

B'ator

2008-02-07T23:08:00.000-05:00

I know you've all been waiting to hear this: I finally got around to eating a Baconator. And it was good. Not life-altering good, but good enough to make eat it twice in a week. Although that was also kind of because the first time I got one I wound up not eating it until two hours after I brought my precious bundle of meat home.

You would think six strips o' bacon would be too much. Then you would be wrong. It actually is the perfect amount of bacon because it ensures that you receive the same area (square inches in this case) of bacon as you do of all of the other layers in every bite.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

The thing that made this burger so tasty, though, tasty enough to warrant a blog entry, is the sauce. I'm still unsure as to whether the sauce is just a combination of ketchup and mayo on the same bun or of it is some sort of special sauce, but whatever the source of the condiment, I liked it.

Did you know the Baconator has been named the official burger of the Canadian Football League?
[Thanks, Wiki. Seriously, read about the B'ator on Wikipedia. There is some great info there.]

[But don't read this guy's review of the B'ator. He obviously is too much of a baby to handle it. What a baby. And not a cute baby.]

There Will Be...

2008-02-07T21:22:00.000-05:00

As requested per Der Kapitän here is the Ensign's "indication as to why 'There Will Be Blood' was good'.

The Ensign's Top 5 Reasons Why the Movie Didn't Suck:

5) I learned something about how to get oil out of the ground. At least how they did it in the olden days.

4) The score by Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwood was an appropriate auditorial metaphor for [...spoiler, i don't know, maybe. skip rest of #4 if really sensitive to these things...] the cold hard steele-ish monster/machine that DDL had become.

3) DDL's recreation room at the close was awesome and well worth the 2 hour and 15 minute wait. [possible spoiler image-BE ADVISED!, but not really it doesn't really spoil anything.]

2) Upton Sinclair was a communist.

and #1) It was Free Popcorn Tuesday at the Regal Cinema for Regal Crown Club members (that's me!).

Blood Quest

2008-02-06T23:10:00.000-05:00

Captain, Ensign, please dispense with your feud. I will see the movie and deliver the deciding vote.

Captain, it looks like Michael from The Office agrees with you.
(You may have to scroll down; his review is on the right.)

Kill the Pig, Spill its blood, Splatter it!

2008-02-06T11:47:00.000-05:00

Notice Ensign could give no indication as to why "There Will Be Blood" was good. However, here are some reasons why the movie sucked:

1) Nobody changed (well, maybe the little kid, but DDL never liked him anyway so who cared)
2) The music was interesting but got very annoying after the first few segments (how many times does the movie need to convey that the mood is dark - I remember when I used to be "dark" - "dark and quiet," in fact - but that did not mean I had to go around acting "dark" and saying "dark" things all of the time.
3) No sympathy for DDL (as the main character, you usually want him to have some redeeming quality besides the ability to make a profit [and I'm an ardent capitalist] - ok, there is one scene where DDL cries because he misses his mommy, but that didn't come close to making anyone feel sorry for him, except maybe Ensign who wept after watching 2 girls 1 cup)
4) The movie actually was not that long - 2 hours 15 minutes about - but it seemed like it took about four hours to watch it
5) I almost left the movie, but then I thought I remembered hearing there was some kind of surprise ending or twist, so I stayed until the end - nothing really that suprising - just the continued unsympathetic rantings and lunacy of DDL's character (although I will admit the last scene in the movie was DDL's best so it was at least entertaining to watch that scene - Hey, the movie ended on a good note, at least!)

Here's the blood.

2008-02-05T23:48:00.000-05:00

Just so we all know the entertainment views of the Captain are not the collective veiws held by the Babies mit Bearden. There Will Be Blood was a good movie. It wasn't too long and boring. And the blood was delivered. I think the Captain was disappointed that there wasn't more singing and cudley bears in the movie. Go see this movie despite the C's review.

Where was the blood?

2008-02-03T20:11:00.000-05:00

There was blood when Stephanie and I went to see "There Will Be Blood" this Sunday night. It was Stephanie's blood, running down the stadium seating of Regal Hollywood 24 from her wrists as she made her desperate escape from a 2.5 hour journey through the film that should be nominated for "Most Miserable Experience." Daniel Day Lewis did a great job as a wacked out oil man, but his good performance was strung through a bizarre, confusing and endless film leaving the audience nothing to take home. $19.00 it cost us (student tickets are a whole dollar less than the $10 adult price!), so once we run out of cash on our gift card, we won't be going back to the movies again until somebody else sends us back. I don't care to say anymore, but this movie is worth a warning, even worth a blog by the Captain. What a terrible film. I'd have rather seen the yet to be made sequel to the worst mainstream film of last year, "Music & Lyrics." I think it's called, "You'll still kill yourself if you see this instead of 'There Will Be Blood,' but at least there is a nominally good looking woman in this movie." Goodnight.

Raisin Starboard

2008-02-01T12:35:00.000-05:00

Ahoy. I've only got a moment, so my message is for a moment only. I sniffed. I sipped. I smiled. I sighed. Ensign's Raisin Port 2007 was a mighty fine batch of sweet spirits. Included in our annual through-work-but-no-longer-working-with-except-for-one friends wine tasting dinner party was a swell specimen, aged for three frosty-temperature enduring weeks, of the Port. Most exotic it was of all of the available tasty offerings, and it was a good wash of our steak fat coated palates. The stench was surprisingly raisiny, and the sip spun a delightful tale of the slow ooze of refinement that came forth from the dark, wrinkly dots. We plugged the bottle back up after a sip each, as the potion's strength is nothing to abuse, and our party looks forward to what Ensign's vineyard provides in the coming year. Something vintage this Port will be in 2019, but its newness today is nothing short of a gallop among daisies in the dew.

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>07.a]

2008-01-27T22:48:00.000-05:00

Oh, hey, you remember that cruise that I was on 2 or 3 weeks ago. I just had a breeze of a thought about it and remembered a couple of things I wanted to share with you lovelies.

FIRST >> A GPS map compiled from both the to and fro trips from John's GPS tracking thingy.

AND SECOND >> another set of photies from John's camie. You can check them out right here on this linkie-link.

Coming in 2K8.

2008-01-27T10:39:00.000-05:00

This spring be ready for >>

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>06.a]

2008-01-24T10:27:00.000-05:00

My father warned me numerous times before embarking the many ways that the Carnival folks will stick it to you and secretly milk you for a little cash. With his little warning "that's where they get ya" ringing the following game was created. It's called Picture in a Picture.

All over the ship there are photographers snapping photos. They're there from the moment you step onboard. They come out at night after dinner all over the ship. Some of them lure you with the chance to be photographed with a busty Can-Can girl, some with old western wear costumes, all the way to the most unresistible "Dutch girl". You can't leave the ship without being photographed with a pirate, or a stuffed lizard, or some other island themed prop.

Then -- "where they get ya" -- they want you to pay $7.99 for a 5X7 print of the picture. Well, no siree, Carival Victory. John and I came up with Picture in a Picture >>

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>05.a]

2008-01-23T09:34:00.000-05:00

January 8, 2008 - 5pm to Midnight. The first stop we made was in San Juan, Puerto Rico. My Aunt Lilly was going to be visiting her sister in San Juan while I was there. So I made plans to meet up with her. After some cell phone back and forth I found Lilly on a bench outside a tourism building. She was with her sister, Rosie, and her cousin Judy. The three of them all grew up in Ponce.

Lilly and I walked around old town for about an hour and then caught up again with Rosie and Judy. We all hopped into Rosie's car munching on pork rinds and I got a driving tour of the island. The girls were chatting away in spanish and Lilly would point out whatever they were talking/reminiscing about. It was great. I got to see a lot of the city.

Then we went to a spanish place for dinner. Everything I had was great. Smoked chicken, black beans and rice, and plantains. I also had a Medalla, a local beer along the lines of a Miller High Life. After dinner we went to Rosie's house which was a couple of blocks from the finiacial district (I think they called it the gold mile)-- lots of banks and stuff, and a couple of universities nearby. The best part of her and her husband, Paco's, home was their back porch. Lots of tropical plants and chirping birds. Paco drove me back to the ship after I was offered an after dinner citrus-y liqour and a dessert of jellied papaya (from their backyard) with white cheese.

I walked around the city a bit and went into a bar for a couple more Medallas before getting back onto the ship.

Here's a little slide show of my night in San Juan >>

L'Orange

2008-01-19T20:11:00.000-05:00

Français rôties à l'orange (French Toast with Orange)
French toast using Orange-y Spice White Bread soaked in whipped egg, half-n-half, a splash of OJ, cinnamon, and honey.
Rating: 7.48

Orange-y Spice White Bread
Homemade just-add-water bread with orange peel, cinnamon, allspice, nutmeg, corriander, black pepper and salt.
Rating: 6.68

Mon téléphone Orange

Rating: 9.25

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>04.a]

2008-01-19T04:21:00.000-05:00

Pretty much here's what went down on a typical day at sea.

[of note: I ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch most mornings, I was reading An Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England: A Novel]

To see my trip photos please please visit this little link here.

Raisin Port - Port Quarterly Review

2008-01-17T12:58:00.000-05:00

At first waft, Dunn's *Raisin Port Dec, 2007 * rekindles my finest memories of early Autumn in Connecticut. This is a time when the most charming of Yankee women dawn the season's first sweaters in search of gentle warmth for their bosoms.

Much like I imagine said bosoms, this wine is sweet and light on the finish. While she brings forth the subtle nuances of her carefully dried birthfruits, *Raisin Port Dec, 2007* is guaranteed to remind you of your life's sweetest moments.

It's too Raisin-y.

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>03.a]

2008-01-17T11:54:00.000-05:00

Every night while away at dinner the wonderful cabin stewards would create these towel creature friends and put them around the room. Catching on after the second day creatures of our own were there waiting in the rooms when the stewards would come in for turndown service.

[Marty is a human owl. Kenny is an elephant. Kelly is a bunny. Mike is a walrus. Monica is a stingray. Andy is a snub-nosed water buffalo. Johnny is undiscovered as yet in nature. And Robbie is a spider monkey.]

The first was Johnny that strange thing in the sky. Jimmy, the steward leader, said that it looked like a "threesome". Then the next night was Marty, who is a human owl. Marty received a "that's creative" comment. And then finally on the last night an entire ocean landscape was created. We stretched the rules a little and used some battery powered things, and some other found objects that weren't towels. But it worked and was really appreciated. Be sure to check out the funny-face next to the monkey.

[click on tiny photo for a better view.]

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>02.a]

2008-01-15T21:58:00.000-05:00

Ok, Welcome and hallo. Now, I apologize that there are no pics yet to view of the cruise. That is because they are still being scrutinized by customs agents and I don't yet have authorization to post them for your perusal.

I'll start us off with a map of the theater of relaxation (they use this phrasing in war times and I think it's appropriate for peaceful times too). Also there is an itinerary of the cruise and the players involved. This will give you a nice idea of what you're in for over the next couple of weeks while checking out the blog.

If you know that you hate certain places in the Carribean you can check the itinerary and just skip over the days when I'm discussing that part of the trip. For example if you don't like French or Dutch run places I'd suggest skipping my ventures in St. Maarten because the Frenchies and Dutchies rule that place together or more exactly they've drawn a line through the island and rule their respective territories independently. (If you don't like one or more of the cruisers who were one the trip with me, I don't know what to tell you. You'll have to just suck it up when their names are mentioned or when you see them in a photo.)

So, then, here's the pretty-much-to-scale map of the Carribean where the Victory was sailing and stopping (that's Miami, FL up there in the upper left) >>

DAILY ITINERARY
DAY 00 > Sat Jan 5: Land/Air Travel (Atlanta to Miami)
DAY 01 > Sun Jan 6: Leave Miami, At Sea
DAY 02 > Mon Jan 7: At Sea
DAY 03 > Tues Jan 8: San Juan, Puerto Rico
DAY 04 > Wed Jan 9: St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands
DAY 05 > Thurs Jan 10: St. Maarten, Netherlands Antilles
DAY 06 > Fri Jan 11: At Sea
DAY 07 > Sat Jan 12: At Sea
DAY 08 > Sun Jan 13: Arrive Miami, Land/Air Travel (Miami to Atlanta)

TRAVELLING COMPANIONS:
Mr. J. McCurry, Mrs. B Hammett-McCurry, Theodore F. Picklebody (the "F" stands for Fanny after the twisted-up actress Frances Farmer)

Then unrelated really to the trip I have included this picture below of what I ate for dinner tonight.

[NOTE: Starting in the upper left and working clockwise around the place mat: 1) salad with lettuce, toms, red onion, mushrooms, pepper, ground jalapeno, and onion/cucumber dressing; 2) breaded and baked pickled okra and tilapia fillet (breading is corn meal, Italian b-crumbs, crushed red pepp, ground jap); 3) coffee.]

Carnival Victory Cruise 2K08 [update v>>01.a]

2008-01-14T11:18:00.000-05:00

I am back from my 7-day Carival Carribean Cruise aboard the Carnival Victory Funship. Stay close by and see and hear and read all about the cruise >> the foods I ate, the towel animals, the views, the Carribean Island adventures, a special surveillance video of an older couple playing Monopoly, and much much much much more I promise.

KLOTH vs. TACO

2008-01-02T01:56:00.000-05:00

All transmissions occurred on 11/24/2007

7:51 PM – BK: Just bought ten tacos
7:54 PM – DD: Eat em hard
7:55 PM – BK: TWSS
8:53 PM – BK: 5 down
9:02 PM – BK: 7 gone--getting full
9:34 PM – BK: 2 left. Ate a candy bar between #7 and #8.
9:58 PM – BK: 1 taco left. Now I have the hiccups. I hope I can make it.
10:09 PM – BK: Brad 10, Tacos 0

Raisin Port

2007-12-28T12:22:00.000-05:00

On December 23rd I bottled my Raisin Port. The port was the first wine that I made using the Vintners Best wine making kit I received for my birthday. The fruit I used to make the wine was the Zante currant (Vitis vinifera). For Christmas family member received bottles and I took up a bottle that we could sample. My parents were very impressed with the flavor. It's sweet. According to my father it warms you right up. It also makes him "dizzy". My mother claims that it rivals Chateau Elan's sweet wines that she loves so much.

I opted not to make up a fancy label because I was very nervous whether or not it would be drinkable. So I just slapped on some sticker labels and wrote simply >> Raisin Port, December 2007. My meanie-head brothers added their own to one of the labels when I was out of the room.

2007-12-17T22:21:00.000-05:00

Trying to decide on my corporate look. Do I do the tie or not? It's a mindboglier. I just can't figure it out.

PLEASE PLACE YOU VOTE. HELP ME DECIDE ON THIS ONE.

Turkey Sausage Slaw Dog!

2007-12-11T00:22:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my dinner. Pay your admission at the door. Grab a fork and a knive and a knapkin.

It's this a smoked turkey sausage with built in cheddar pods, some homemade chili, some added shredded cheddar, some store bought sweet slaw, onion slices, ground jalapeno, and of course the spicy brown.

2007 Thanksgiving Salsa-Off

2007-11-27T06:23:00.000-05:00

Hey, so I won the 2007 Thanksgiving Salsa-Off (sponsored by Tostitos). Finally. My challengers were very disappointed. I rubbed in the championship title as much as I could.

The entries were:
#1 Ken's Mine Sucks Pity Salsa - his attempt to play down his traditional chunky red salsa was not effective. Pretty good, though but no tastes really stood out.
#2 Damian's Pineapple Salsa Verde - WINNER, WINNER, WINNER. A green salsa with a sneak attack of some sweet sweet pineappley-ness.
#3 Dusty's Cilantro Overload - This salsa had a doink-load of cilantro. After a while I got use to it, but whoa major cilantro.

Our judge was Mary Dunn. She's a Mom and a Wife to the Salsa-ers. It was a blind contest so her prejudices where not brought to the table.

Thanks guys for a good year. Can't wait to play again in next year's contest.

2007 Thanksgiving Salsa-Off: Update

2007-11-22T18:17:00.000-05:00

I won. I won. My Pineapple Salsa Verde (PSV) won the 2007 Thanksgiving Salsa-Off.
MORE TO COME.

Another Major Test

2007-11-20T16:13:00.001-05:00

One of major, major proportions, even more major than the previous test.

Tester

2007-11-19T22:13:00.001-05:00

This is a test of major proportions. This is a big test.

STAR WARS BOOGIE

2007-11-18T19:18:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've watched these. A nice bit of nostalgia. Enjoy.

A fine line...

2007-11-16T23:48:00.000-05:00

In this whole culinary world there is such a fine line between sober and drunk.

Quod est Demonstratum >>
(Corporal you may not wish to viddy this photo. It shows a pizza that's been pizza-raped.)

You see...

2007-11-16T13:05:00.001-05:00

I told you I couldn't keep up with this blogging thing.

The Composer

2007-11-07T21:36:00.000-05:00

So I've written before about how much I love music. My love of music combined with my stratospherical Nerd Quotient means that I still make Mixtape CDs. For the uninitiated, and Mixtape CD is just like a Mixtape except on a CD instead of a cassette. Of course, nowadays my Mixtape CDs are actually Mixtape CD Playlists since I make them for my iPod. But that is just too long to say. The strangest thing about moving to Playlists rather than Mixtapes or Mixtape CDs is that now there is no limit to the number of songs I can include. But of course everyone knows that a good Mixtape (like a good kid) needs limits. And that is where the Nerd Quotient kicks in.

I don't just make Mixtape CDs with a bunch of random songs on them. I still carry on the grand high-schooler tradition of trying to piece together the exact mix and arrangement of songs to achieve the mood or convey the story or woo the lady. So this is probably really embarrassing, but I am going to be sharing my Mixtape CDs with you as I make them, and I'll explain the deep-seated thought that went into each and every song and their placement in the Mixtape CD. Some of them will be really cheesy, I'm sure. So I'll start with a simple one.

This Mixtape CD is entitled Right-Hand-Man. The title is a reference to a line from the second track; this track, when I heard it in July, re-kicked-off my love of Mixtape CDs, so of course I had to honor it. As I said, this Mixtape CD is simple, so there is no grand, over-arching theme or meaning or purpose to this one.

Right-Hand-Man
1. Mission - The Opus (First Contact)
2. First Contact - The Opus (First Contact)
Normally I'd explain the tracks one-by-one, but these two tracks are inseparable. "First Contact" is what I wanted to include because the opening beats always hook me and take me off and running. But I realized that those beats aren't nearly as hookish without the creepy, sample-filled intro of "Mission".

3. Do You Realize?? - The Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots)
Normally I can barely make out the lyrics in a song, let alone understand them. Fortunately, this song is easy to hear, and the lyrics are just a bunch of cool questions beginning with, "Do you realize?" I also like that they used two question marks. And the music in this one is amazing.

4. Bring Me to Life - Evanescence (Fallen)
I don't know whether it's embarrassing or not to like Evanescence these days. The chick has such a great voice, and she totally draws me in whenever she's belting it out. Then the guy chimes in, and that's usually when I wonder if I should be ashamed. I figure I'll just enjoy this one.

5. Tom's Diner (7" A) - DNA & Suzanne Vega (Tom's Album)
Meredith actually thought to buy this one off iTunes for us. Of course I loved this back whenever it came out. So simple yet so great.

6. Car Thief - Beastie Boys (Paul's Boutique)
Given that I was a teenager during the Beastie's heyday, I loved Licensed to Ill, then hated Paul's Boutique when it came out since everyone else did, and then liked the Beastie Boys again in eleventh grade when Check Your Head came out. It wasn't until the summer after my senior year that I listened to Paul's Boutique again (thanks to my friend Adam digging it out), and "Car Thief" was our favorite song. The sweetest part is "A farmer..."

7. Cannonball - The Breeders (Last Splash)
This song was huge in my freshman dorm at UGA. I never got much into this band beyond this song, but I listened to this about a million times. It had a great video, too. (But not as cool as that Cibo Matto video where it's the two girls and they do all that walking around and then overlap halfway through.)

8. My England - Lady Sovereign (Public Warning)
This song just doesn't belong here. I've tried to fit Lady Sovereign on several Mixtape CDs now, and it just doesn't work. She's too jarring.

9. Enuff - DJ Shadow (The Outsider)
DJ Shadow is my all-time favorite musician. This song isn't indicative of the type of music he did that made him my all-time favorite, but it's a really happy, catchy, bouncy song. Q-Tip and Lateef are a great combination because they both sound so happy when they're rhyming.

10. Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand (Franz Ferdinand)
I'm pretty sure that ever Mixtape CD I make for the next ten years will include a track from this album.

11. B.O.B.B.Y. - RZA as Bobby Digital (Bobby Digital in Stereo)
I'm so pissed that this CD got stolen from me or lost by me. It was really, really cool.
"Stuck to your ass like a Victoria Secrets wedgie!"
"Arm Leg Leg Arm Head"

12. Let Go - Frou Frou (Details)
I hate to admit that I picked up this song from the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack. Mainly because I went on and on so many times to Meredith about how much I hated the Grey's Anatomy soundtrack.

13. Rabbit Run - Eminem (8 Mile [Original Soundtrack])
Some people don't like this song because it doesn't have a chorus; it's just Eminem spitting it out rapid-fire from beginning to end. But every time I listen, this song gets me so pumped up, especially to do something creative.

14. Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles (Revolver)
My favorite Beatles song ever.

15. Bleeding Brain Grow - MC Paul Barman (Paullelujah!)
Paul Barman is a white, Jewish rapper who went to some Ive League college who has an infectious, sing-songy flow. Plus he's the only musician to ever beat the They Might Be Giants line, "Son I am able, she said, though you scare me. Watch, said I, beloved, I said, watch me scare you, though. Said she, Able am I, son." for best palindrome within a song with the following: "Ma, origami magi roam. Eve, Mika, RZA, Evil JD. Nasir is Osiris and J-Live, AZ, Rakim, Cormega, Cage, Mr. OC: I'm anomie. I, mon ami." Bonus points since his palindromes actually use letters rather than words.

16. Watch Out Now - Beatnuts (A Musical Massacre)
Another catchy, happy hip-hop track.

17. Girl - Beck (Guero)
For some reason I never include Beck on my Mixtape CDs. So I am making a conscious effort to do so going forward.

18. PJ & Rooster - OutKast (Idlewild)
Once again a single line hooked me in: "Don't make me call the Rooster, he'll shoot ya." Hooked me not only into this song but also into Idlewild the movie--not that I've seen it yet.

19. Monster Zero - King Geedorah (Take Me To Your Leader)
This is another track that probably needs to be cut. I love it, but it's also quite jarring. This one may never make it to a Mixtape CD, but that's OK because Take Me To Your Leader is such a great, self-contained album in and of itself.

2007-11-03T17:54:00.000-05:00

Long John Silver's - Buttered Lobster Bites

My dad is from Maine, and he has eaten a lot of lobster in his life. I have, too, since I've been there so often. I never understood why lobster cost so much because lobster is one of those rare foods you can't screw up. Plus, the meat comes from a roach like critter. Must be something to do with having to fish it out of the sea. In any case, I will eat these and I am sure they will be good.

?remember me?

2007-10-30T22:59:00.000-05:00

Guess what they have here in Tampa...
Wait for it...
Yes, I am in Tampa...
For work...
But it's cool because I get to hang out with Mia and Chad...
Wait for it...
I nearly had a heart attack when I saw it in the quickie mart...
Wait for it...
That's right...
MOUNTAIN DEW LIVEWIRE!!!

Why the F do they not carry this in the ATL??????

Beans

2007-10-28T22:03:00.000-05:00

Oh, my Gosh! You gotta get me out of all these beans. Help! Please, Help!

And so it ends

2007-10-26T15:50:00.000-05:00

I passed the bar today. Actually, I passed it three months ago, but I finally got the results today. What is the difference? Fundamentally, I am now allowed to talk to clients and sign documents. But today marks the official end of three years of law school, not much of which I enjoyed. The only test that counts I passed (I passed all my other tests too, by the way). Okay, not much else to say about it except thank God it's done. Now my life can get back to really, really boring - just the way I like it.

Not Good at Either

2007-10-24T20:25:00.000-05:00

Here I am back at the blog because I thought about surfing for five minutes and then realized once again that there is nothing I want to find out. But I can't think of anything to blog about either. It's like I'm stuck in some weird state of miserable boredom and I can't even jumpstart my brain to think of anything new.

I am reading "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" at the moment. I have 27 pages left. The book is nothing like I remember the movie. It's a strange one. Better than "Contact," though. I enjoyed that movie much more than the book. Carl Sagan could not write characters worth a crap, but he knew his science. It was like reading "A Brief History of Time" in the form of a ridiculously broad soap opera involving romance, politics, and explosions! The only thing missing was comic relief - absolutely none.

"Sheep" has been a surprising read. Philip Dick is very good with the details, but does not labor them - leaves most of it up to the reader, except when he sends his character into some crazy alternate reality and then the details become very confusing and overwhelming - much like an acid trip which I think Dick is trying to convey anyway, so it makes sense. So much in the book turns on a dime but so subtly (that is the strangest word I have ever spelled) that you read for about a page or two before you understand what the hell has happened. Some genius moments.

Well, I just stunk up the office and think I'll go finish the book. Look, I blogged again instead of searching for nothing on the internet. I post.

P.S. This is now the second time in a row where I have entered the letters in the "Word Verification" field below the post window and have been unsuccessful. I have never failed at recognizing the letters before. Something sucks about blogspot.

Not Billing

2007-10-23T16:02:00.000-05:00

It's Tuesday and I'm not billing this afternoon. I hate it when I'm not billing, not because I am not making any money (I make the same amount whether I am billing or not billing anyway), but because someone will eventually come to my office and say, "What have you been doing?" I've been not billing, and I've been not billing because I can only ask for work so many times before I feel like I become a desperate pest.

Now that I am almost a licensed practitioner of the law (meaning I am allowed to read a statute and tell you what it means, you stupid citizens, and then make you pay me for it - just kidding, I don't know what the statutes mean either), I try to keep very busy and am usually pretty good about it, but I do run into downtime where I have already abused my work-seeking privileges, and I've recently become very bored with everything, especially the internet because there are about five interesting web sites in existence to me, so today I guess I decided I'll start blogging instead of trying to think of something interesting to wiki, though I might still wiki and then blog about what I find. By the way, the five sites are: Drudgereport (because I am always waiting for the world to end and I know Drudge will have the story first), Weather Underground (because I like watching Doppler track the storms coming into metro Atlanta and Weather.com sucks), Wachovia (because I am interested in how much money I don't have yet and what it is being spent on), eBay (because I am going to win a ghost in a bottle one day or something equivalent), and HughHewitt.com (a conservative blog because I am a conservative libertarian but I really don't enjoy HughHewitt.com so much anymore but I still visit it). As you can see, I suck at being interesting on the web.

I see that Corporal and Ensign have been blogging now and then for years, and I have made about four entries in the history of this blog - and all blogs put together. They are much more experienced than me ... I ... me ... this blogger. But I can catch up quickly.

Well, I've already forgotten what I really want to blog about today. I had an idea in my mind and forgot it. And usually the process goes that I make a blog entry and act as if I will be back shortly to make more and more entries but in actuality I disappear for a year before my next entry. Therefore, I am never making any blogging promises. If I post, I post.

Oh yeah, I think I am going to start a book in the winter, everything else in my life quiets down. Stephanie and I just finished the end of a very long run of busy weekends that started in April of 2004 and culminating in her sister's wonderful wedding at which I spoke and thus embarrassed myself, so we are going to be excited to have our time back (to do things like yard work and housework - because that is how we are required to dream about using our spare time). I have two main ideas for my book, which will be on the short side (at least as of now), and neither idea relates to anything funny, wry, or ironic. I am a very depressed and sad writer, so if the book gets published, don't expect any hilarity or poignant phrases. I am saving those for later in life to save my parents the embarrassment of my relating my family life (that's where all of the action in my life has happened - nothing has ever been as exciting as my intact nuclear experience, except for being married of course which is family + romance). So expect my ironic family romance comedy memoir sometime far away from now. In the nearer future, expect not that.

This post doesn't even come close to matching the mood of the other posts by Corporal and Ensign. Plus, Ensign apparently has been taking control of the ship according to his photographs which displeases me. I'll have to take some disciplinary action on his skullduggery.

EURO2007 >> Thursday, April 5

2007-10-07T21:11:00.000-05:00

Day 5, or "I Could Get Used to This"
Florence, IT

Florence AKA Firenze (they don't tell you this is what they call Florence in Italy when they sell you your train ticket that says "Firenze" and so you wander about the station thinking that "Firenze" sounds so familiar since it's the name of a centaur in Harry Potter) is famous for it's artwork (David, The Birth of Venus) as well as this, known on my map as the Duomo, although it seems that's just an Italian word for "cathedral." It is such a humongous church that there really is no way you can come close to fitting the whole thing in a photograph.

We spent our first day in Firenze (yes I am Continental now) just wandering about the city. I guess Rome had higher-quality clothes, because a store there was called "Excellent" or something else that's better than "Very Good". And somewhere else was a store called "Expensive". That was a hoot to all us Americans that gathered outside to snicker.

A river runs right through Florence, and the bridge over it is lined with jewelry stores. Don't ask me why; maybe pirates used to come down the river. Once you go over the bridge, there ain't a whole lot to see except the Boboli Gardens. Now if you know me, you how I feel about pizza, so of course we were gonna have to hit those gardens.

No there was no pizza in the B-Gards. Not even any tomater plants. But this fountain was pretty cool. I took about 150 pictures of it. (Notice the Whomping Willows in the background.) We spent a good two hours wandering around this place. One of my favorite things to do in Europe is to wander around the gigantic, old gardens that were planted by the super-rich back during serfdom days. This park even had lizards and the best fountain ever (see below).

Man, do I love MONKEYS. So you can only imagine my excitement upon happening on this fountain. And this was at the very top of the gardens, in the middle of a rectangular garden than had the most amazing views of the city. Yet it took all of my willpower to enjoy the view rather than just stare at this fountain and smile. Don't ask me what that kid on top of the fountain is doing. Looks like he's trying to cut the meat off a turkey leg to me.

For some reason this day kept presenting just the best photo ops. I guess that's maybe because we were taking the time just to stroll along and really just look at things. Of course I viewed everything through my Prank Prism. Hence these photos.

Cats also love the Boboli Gardens. Look at this cat, obviously it was just sent from Heaven. This guy totally led us to Manna from Heaven which you might have mistaken for a small pile of cat food. Then we saw the grotto that was down the hill from this vision and figured this cat had something to do with it.

This grotto was far and away the Coolest Thing That Was A Surprise We Happened To Stumble Upon This Trip To Europe. I have never seen anything like this; it was like a sweet cave that we would've used as a fort when we were kids but that someone had gone into and created all of these statue and fresco-type things out of wax. Oh, and then painted a picture on the ceiling. The ceiling-paint even had monkeys in it. Man does Firenze love them monkeys!

Finally, Here are our dinners for that night. Meredith found a place that advertised "American cheeseburgers," but you still had to order the typical Italian three-course way (salad, pasta, meat all separate), so I wound up with some kick-A sausages that I squeezed lemon juice all over, and M got this salad and then the American Cheeseburger which wound up being way overcooked with some weird Italian cheese on it. But the steak fries were normal.

Pickled sock

2007-10-07T19:54:00.000-05:00

Oh, yeah, so if you want one of your favorite new pairs of socks to smell like pickle here's some simple how-to steps that you can follow.

#1. MAKE your parents a batch of pickles and LEAVE the jar with them to enjoy at their leisure. #2. GO to your parents house to do your laundry.

Done. That's it. And if you're a lucky one like me when your parents return the jar they'll kindly place your favorite pair of socks that got accidentally left behind inside the used up pickle jar.

A round of props

2007-09-30T23:20:00.000-05:00

I like to extend a quik round of props to the following folks. Their efforts and innovations and beauty and kindness and energy drink selection never go missed. Thanks good friends.

RELAPSE THEATER (home of JaCKPie)
for winning Best New Trend in the Arts in Creative Loafing's Best of Atlanta 2007.

QuikTrip (1836 Briarcliff Road)
for winning Best Place to Fill Your Tank.

and also for this amazing sign spotted at Old Peachtree Rd. off I85 >>

Pickle Project 2007 >> Bz4567.002 (sg)

2007-09-24T13:38:00.000-05:00

Updating you on the latest moves in the 2K7 Pickle Project >>
#4 is garlic mustard slices - turmeric, garlic, white vin, salt, sugar, mustard
#5 is pickling cukes, 2 1/2 cups sugar, 2 cups distilled white vinegar, 1 tablespoon minced garlic, 2 tablespoons non-iodized salt, 2 teaspoons McCormickR Mixed Pickling Spice, 2 teaspoons McCormickR Mustard powder, 1 teaspoon curry powder.
#6 is sweet/heat red pepper - app cider/white vin, salt, sugar, honey, allspice, nutmeg, cinn sticks, crushed red pepper, ginger
#7 is sweet/heat pickle chunks

USS mit Bearden: Ensign's Mutiny

2007-09-17T17:39:00.000-05:00

Hope you saw the production stills from principle photography in the previous post. They are from the new film coming out this fall. It's called USS mit Bearden: Ensign's Mutiny. This movie is to scare the pants off of you. It's gorey. It'll make you sea sick.

Here's the movie poster >>

pirate photos mit captions

2007-09-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

[Here I stand at the helm of the USS mit Bearden on it's maiden voyage. We went to Lake Michigan.]

[Captaining the now seaworthy Gray Climax 7.0 head on towards the Flying Dutchman soon to be a flotsam heap.]

[The grand stairway of the Titanic where I was honored at the admiral's banquet.]

Sweet

2007-09-15T00:27:00.000-05:00

This is great >>

But this is even greater >>

EURO2007 >> Wednesday, April 4

2007-09-04T22:42:00.000-05:00

Day 4, or "My Face on a Train"
Rome, IT; Florence, IT

So I am starting this post with a lie. This photo is from dinner on Night 3. You got to pick out your own fish to eat, although we had to endure almost becoming fiery wreckage as our taxi sped through the rain-swept night. This was the only night it rained on us in Rome, and it was amazing how we heard ambulance sirens like every three minutes. So anyway, our waiter was a great Italian guy with an Italian name who kept saying, "Yes yes, Atlantic City!" when we'd ask if he'd heard of Atlanta. He even gave us his phone number so we could meet up if we ever came back to Rome. Europeans were always handing out their contact info and inviting us to stay with them. (Must've been the Wifey's charisma.)

OK, on to Day 4 FOR REAL THIS TIME. M and I journeyed to the Colosseum. There were all these people outside the Big C hawking English-speaking tours. At first we avoided this because, c'mon, you always avoid crap like that. But then we found that the cost of the tour was like 3 Euros more than regular entry, plus you got to skip the half-hour-long line. The best part was that our guide spoke English with an accent, and she kept describing how the trap doors in the Big C's floor would "sadly open." But what she really was saying was "suddenly open".

So as our tour of the Big C ended, we found out that we could also take a guided tour of the Palatine Hill and Roman Forum for no extra cost. That made this a super-sweet deal and almost made up for the fact that the Colosseum tour basically said that everything I had told Meredith the night before about the Big C--which I had learned about in Latin class in high school--was either disproved since then, misremembered by me, or just flat-out wrong.

M got so tough as we went through the Medium F. This was helpful later because when we took the train to Florence, it totally sucked A. We had seriously over packed, and our big suitcase wouldn't fit in the overhead bin. On top of that we couldn't find the train until 2 minutes before it took off, so we were sweaty and stressed and the areas between cars that could hold big luggage were all filled. Plus we didn't really know how to read our tickets, so by sheer luck we found our car, but then we didn't realize there were assigned seats, so we sat in someone else's seats and had to move and had to carry to big-A suitcase and plop it into another seat next to our assigned seats without being able to ask the person it was next to since we were in a foreign country.

Finally we got to Firenze. This is the front door to our hotel there and then the view out of our window. We knew we'd be safe since we could jump out and land right in a hospital.

Give blood.

2007-09-02T21:41:00.000-05:00

I gave blood today. About 18 fluid ounces. They were impressed with my veins. And everything went fine. I got a free American Red Cross hat and a nice looking green bandage wrap. I had my choice of blue, pink, green, or red. Also I got a free package of Nutter Butter cookies and an apple juice. When the results come in I'll inform you all of my blood type in case you ever want to solicit me for a transfusion or something.

New Product Act Now

2007-08-27T21:20:00.000-05:00

This amazing and new product is a must have for every child, teenager, family man, mother daughter, father sister, grandpa, grandma and absolutely everyone. This new product will change lives. This new product will increase your sex drive. It will smarten you up. It will get you to work on time. I will fill your car with gas. It is the new peanut butter. The new Kleenex.

It's just plain awesome. Everyone go out now buy one and put it to work!

"My wife and I own two and we just love love love it. I mean get one. Get one now!"
- BK Ensign

INTRODUCING...

1 NAME, BEARD

2007-08-24T07:33:00.000-05:00

Taking a clue from my face my neighborhood friendly watering hole uses the following moniker for me on all offical documents. See the highlighted portion below. A barkeeptress a couple of weeks ago when she'd see me without the beard. They're crazy obsecess with beards over there or something. It's great. Beards are great. Don't you agree. Please speak up. Beard to the Yay! or Beard to the Nay!

Flava

2007-08-19T23:32:00.000-05:00

My life feels so flat right now. Is this what happens when you turn 31. Or is it just sneaky-depression caused by Harry Potter being over. What a great book. I can't decide whether I want to read it again straight away or read all of the books again in order now.

Have you read Watchmen yet? Read it before the movie comes out. Don't worry, that gives you until 2009. But trust me here. The movie will suck-A. [After you read it, wait six months, then read again.]

Are you wathcing Flight of The Conchords yet? Why not, dicknose. It is hilarious. Here is the best-named rap song ever, Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros. But these guys are not rappers. They are New Zealand's fourth-most-popular folk-parody band. And this song is the truest ode to a hot chick at a party ever written.

Next time you buy a CD, buy something by U.N.K.L.E. You won't be disappointed. And no, they are not just "experimental hip-hop" as described by Allmusic.

OK that's enough marching orders for now.

Do you deliver to AMERICA

2007-08-15T15:57:00.000-05:00

This is the best thing I've ever seen. And I can't even tell what the toppings are. It figures it would take the Pizza Scientists in Japan to finally find a useful thing to do with the crust.

ala Gnarls

2007-08-13T23:22:00.000-05:00

I don't know what is crazier--that I just had my four-year wedding anniversary last week, or that my little sister actually got married this weekend, or that I am older than characters in a sitcom now.

For our anniversary we ate Mexican (#37, chicken enchilada, please), and then we saw The Simpsons. Ladies, take note: THAT is how you celebrate an anniv.

Wow, did you know that "In the United States one can receive a greeting from the President for any wedding anniversary after the 50th"?
[Thanks, Wiki]

Okrae Baby

2007-08-11T15:15:00.000-05:00

Less Than Meets Your Face

2007-08-07T22:25:00.000-05:00

So I saw TRANSFORMERS tonight. Fahking Michael Bay. That's all I can say on this matter. At least he cast two smoking-hot female leads.

My favorite actors? Glad you asked. Off the top of my head >>
1) Guy Pearce
2) David Cross
3) Don Cheadle
4) Clive Owen
5) Christian Bale
6) Ewan McGregor
7) Cillian Murphy
8) Dan Castellaneta
9) Brad Pitt
10) Marky Mark Wahlberg

Honorable Mention >> Jason Lee simply for his all-shouting performance in Mallrats

My favorite actresses? Well I need something to blog about six months from now, don't I?

Thanks, Googer II

2007-08-07T07:31:00.000-05:00

Here's what my name has done lately in answer to your question, Corp.

Results of "Damian Dunn" on Google book search.

Thanks, Googer

2007-08-05T21:02:00.000-05:00

Guess what, my name is the phonetical spelling of the word "broadcloth." What has YOUR name done lately?

Eating Brains

2007-08-05T19:06:00.000-05:00

We're all smart people. We are. Though sometimes our intellect is challenged. There are those who'll drop little hints to say 'hey come on you're smarter than that' or 'that was low' or 'dip-sphiff don't say dumb-butt things like that'.

Whatever, whatever whatever.

I've found the cure to this all and that is eating brains. Eat a brain and instantly you're smarter. Just eat a brain -- human, bovine, poultry, rodentia. Whatever. Just eat a brain and you're all of a sudden more intelligent for it.

I've tried brain and it was great. And I don't even have nightmares about it. I'm just smarter. Just like that.

Are you my friend? If the answer is yes--try some brains.

memorandum

2007-08-02T22:32:00.000-05:00

This Wikipedia page totally reminded me of Ensign.

Cake Face NYE2K6

2007-08-01T21:26:00.000-05:00

Have you guys seen this. It is great and will make Meredith kill me when she sees it on here. Except she never reads my blog. So this is my revenge.

© 2006 Mind Melt, Inc.

New Einstein meets Elvis uploads

2007-07-24T23:03:00.000-05:00

I am here only to plug some fabulous new MySpace video uploads from the JackPie improv team Einstein meets Elvis.

First is Dunney pounding out the unofficial EmE theme on the keys >>

And our wonderful Team Mom demonstrating the "apple trick" >>

EURO2007 >> Tuesday, April 3

2007-07-16T23:22:00.000-05:00

Day 3, or "Two Days Late"
Rome, IT

So I wrote this post one time already, then Firefox ate it. [For as great as FF is on my work computer, it can really suck ass on my home computer.] So let me tell this tale again. Just two days into our European Visionquest, the Wifey was already tired of me dragging her around at breakneck speed. So in the morning I got to explore some Roman ruins by myself. Have I mentioned how enamored I am with 2,000-year-old structures? Here are three arcs of such age from the Colosseum, the Arch of Constantine, and the Palatine Hill, respectively. [What a nerd I am.] I decided to pay the entry fee for the PH since I figured M would want to see the Colosseum and the Forum with me.

I think I've mentioned how much it blows my mind to touch something that some Emperor of Rome probably touched. So that is what I did. I wonder if 2,000 years in the future now there will be a thumbprint-shaped depression in this here block because of my thumb acid. Yes I am really touching it, not hovering my thumb over it like some scared baby. That's just an Ancient Roman Optical Illusion [AROI].

Here is a Roman buttcrack. In front of the BC are the Spanish Steps, and behind them at the top of the Steps is the museum where they had to steal the Fabergé egg in Ocean's 12. [Later I'll explain how we managed to go on the Ocean's 12 European Tour.]

So now I'm going to tell you about may have been the most exciting moment of the entire trip. Meredith and I had decided to grab some lunch and some wine and head to the Steps to chill out and eat lunch. M was already jonesing for some food ala Americana, so she bought a simple lettuce & tomato sandwich.. We got to the Steps, made a toast, and started eating. My sandwich was awesome, but it turns out M's had a small catch. Turns out the tomato slices were RAW SALMON. The only way you could simulate the shock this caused would be if you were to ask someone to get you a cup of milk and they bring it back in a covered sippy-cup and when you take a gulp it's not milk but juice. (This also happened to Meredith when she was a kid.) Everything turned out swell because I got to eat that sandwich, and I loved it. It even had mayonnaise on it. Man do I dig those crazy European sandwiches!

Next up was the Pantheon. All this time I thought the Pan was a building dedicated to the old Roman gods, so I was excited to see some good old-fashioned staues of Zeus and pals. Turns out the building had been convereted into a shrine to Christianity. Boy, that's exciting. None of that type of stuff elsewhere in Rome.

P.S. Thanks for ripping off my photo, Wikipedia.

Did I mention there were an S-ton of cats in Rome? We found their secret hideout on our walk back to the hotel from the Pantheon. I couldn't believe that this secret cat hideout had existed since the ancient Roman times. I mean why else would it be dug down like that?

Heaven is a Sandwich

2007-07-12T23:42:00.000-05:00

HOLY CRAP THE BACONATOR IS HERE

Waterloo Water Tower and Cookie Jar

2007-07-11T02:14:00.000-05:00

I made a pilgrimage to Waterloo, Indiana to visit relatives and see my Dad and Mom's old stomping grounds. Pictured below is the Waterloo water tower and my Grandma's cookie jar, which is still the first thing that young visitors inspect when they come into the home. Check out this Flickr link to see my photos from the trip. If there are any questions you need answered please comment and I'll clear things up or elaborate.

The Summer 13lb. Roast Turkey Project >> Update.B

2007-07-01T22:29:00.000-05:00

The Summer Turkey Project is well underway now. I want to point out first an unprecedented commingling of food projects that coincidentally occurred. M4, my turkey pot pie, was both a contender in the current turkey project and the 5 pie project that are going on.

M5 I just love because it was a little present to my middle brother for loaning me the pan that I roasted the turkey in. He is fastly surpassing me in cooking skills. He's taken a knife chopping class, he goes to Bed Bath and Beyond more frequently that me, he's got a roasting pan, and he watches more Food Network than I do.

Here's the latest items I've eaten:
M3 (6/24/2007) More late night snacking.
M4 (6/25/2007) Turkey Pot Pie (*). Dark meat turkey with cream of mushroom and garden mix vegetables. Seasoned with salt, pepper, thyme, and parsley flakes. All placed in a pie crust and topped with more pie crust, and baked.
M5 (6/26/2007) Middle Brother Charity Ration. Dusty loaned me the roasting pan to cook the turkey so I felt morally obligated to give a sample of the turkey that he helped birth. Just a couple of hefty pieces of white meat.
M6 (6/27/2007) Turkey Pot Pie (*) and a banana.
M7 (7/1/2007) Turkey Pot Pie (*).

* Project Crossover Meal

EdRib is Back

2007-06-25T16:24:00.000-05:00

Rating >> 7.99. Out of what? Out of asparaguses. That's 7.99 asparaguses out of 10. That's pretty good.

Check out the official site of McDonald's McRib. Also see one man's attempt to uncover the mystery of the McRib by deconstructing the McRib. And then for those of you who just love the Filet 'o Fish like I do there too is an official site of McDonald's Filet 'o Fish.

Tacos and Turkey

2007-06-24T09:31:00.000-05:00

ROAST DAY: 5/18/2007
PREP: Massaged with corn oil and applied a cracked peppercorn roasting rub.

MEALS:
M1 (6/18/2007) Bits and pieces here and there while carving.
M2 (6/19/2007) Late night snacking on a couple of pieces of turk.

Damian's Sin City Breakfast Tacos

Inspired by Real Buried Treasure's Father's Day Sin City Breakfast Tacos I got to creating my own. I had to slightly bypass the from-scratch tortillas. I took home some leftover tortillas from the mexican restaurant Mi Barrio, which I think where homemade in the back.

For the taco insides I used grilled veggies (red pepper, onion, zuchini, and portabella mushrooms) and eggs.

For the Ears

2007-06-17T11:33:00.000-05:00

My god do I love music. To this day I average buying a CD almost every week. (If you like indie rock or underground hip-hop, you gotta check out eMusic.com. Best website ever. Even if you don't care, do whatever you can to get your hands on the song "Dead Dogs Two" by cLOUDDEAD.)

Driving home tonight, M asked if she could play her iPod. I agreed even thought this usually forces me to endure the most miserable driving experience ever. First she played a few random tracks from different artists that she liked, but then she seemed to settle on an album. After two point five songs, I decided I really liked this album that I had never heard before.

"What album is this?"
"The new one."
"Um, by who?" [or whom, whatever]
"Tori Amos."

I used to like Tori Amos a lot back at the end of high school and the beginning of college. Or at least I thought I did, but looking back it may have been a lie so that I'd have something to talk to girls about. I went to her concert in 1994, and I fell asleep halfway through, but I attribute that more to our pre-concert activities plus the fact that we couldn't buy beer once we went in. If you know what I mean. But I did get the coolest t-shirt I've ever owned from that concert. It said BITCHIN on the front.

Bank cards, college IDs, and other forms of identification

2007-06-17T08:14:00.000-05:00

To those of you at dinner who made fun of the photo of me on my bank card here are some more pics for you to poke fun at. The collage is composed of various pictures of me from pieces of identification over the years. All are sans beard, except for the bird one which is kind of beard like cause it's fuzzy.

ROW 1: Georgia Southern student ID, Six Flags season pass (circa '91), UGA student ID.
ROW 2: 8th grade graduation, bank card, Eddy the Eagle.
ROW 3: Dekalb College student ID, Milton high school senior year playing card, Driver's license.

EURO2007 >> Tangent 1

2007-06-15T23:21:00.000-05:00

So this something that just must be dealt with in its own post. I mean you all know how much I love pizza, and I finally get a chance to have authentic Italian pizza. (Is pizza even an Italian invention?)

When you go into the little shop to order, there are people standing behind a counter covered in gigantic, rectangular pizzas. You tell them which you want, and with their hands the people ask how much you want. (They also do that by speaking Italian.) Once you've managed to convey how much you want, they use scissors to cut your slice! How cool is that. Finally, the slice is weighed, and you pay based on the weight.

So halfway between the Trevi Fountain and my assault on The Vatican, we stop for lunch (and for me to figure out how to address my wounds). Despite all my bravado, when we get into the pizza place, I chicken out and order a sandwich (also on the counter, also cut with scissors, also weighed, also quite good), but fortunately for me, Meredith got a couple pieces of the sweet pizza you see above.

She was not able to handle both pieces, so I got to polish off half of the above bad boy. It had real bacon, some sort of Italian ham (not prosciutto), roasted red peppers, and some weird mushroom or eggplant-type thing. That description does not do the slice any justice; it tasted like no pizza you'd ever get in the States, not even at Papa Johns. It was like eating three pieces of pizza smushed together and mixed with an anti-pasta appetizer.

I want another.

OKRA CANDY

2007-06-14T21:46:00.000-05:00

I LOVE OKRA. IT IS MY NEW FAVORITE CANDY. LOOK AT THIS PICTURE. >>

Aaaaaaaaaaaand we're back!

2007-06-04T23:21:00.000-05:00

So after a prolonged period of technical issues and lack of disposable time and sporadic lethargy, I am back to finish writing up my and the Wifey's trip to Europe in April.

[You can all exhale now.]