9:31 PM >> Goodbye NYC

My last day in NYC: 6:50am >> showered in the sink, gathered my bags together, did a couple of pushups, drank some water. 7:30am >> walked from cobble hill brooklyn where my buddy ryan was staying (trip was centered around ryan's bachelor weekend), got to the astor place station and walked around washington square park a couple of times looking for a restaurant that seem to always go to while in new york. 8:45am >> found university restaurant, ordered a western omelette plate and had to tack on an espresso in order to hit the $10 minimum for credit cards, finished eating and rode up to my brother's gallery on 57th and madison to drop off my packs. 10:15am >> was on a bus up to 83rd-ish to go and visit the metropolitan museum of art, ran around the museum real quick, saw a bunch of portraits, some statues, some whatever. 11:40am >> got the idea to start taking some pics with my camera phone, found all these great busts and statues.



12:05am >> booked it back to my brother's office, didn't have any more hits on my metro card or any cash for bus fare, made it to my brothers office in 25 minutes. 12:35am >> ate with my brother at some deli type place, got on the train up to 125th to catch the bus to the airport, my brother gave me some money for the trains, stopped into mcd's for a poop and the people outside the door where banging for me to get out, got on the bus, beer at the airport, got on the plane. 7:45pm >> got home ate some concoction with tuna barley relish and spices and slept slept slept.

6:50 PM >> Schwarzenegger Sings

Just got The Eraser by Thom Yorke. Of course it did not come with a standard CD case but rather some weirdo/paper/cardboard case that of course I ripped immediately. Well I haven't listened to the album yet, so that is my review so far.

11:37 PM >> sopping wet

Yes I saw Lady in the Water on Saturday night. Yes I got to the theater extra-early to make sure we got decent seats. No there was no one else in the theater when we arrived. Yes other people showed up but not like when we went to The Village on opening weekend Saturday.

Yes I love M. Night Shyamalan. Yes now it might be more I Like-Like him. No the movie does not deserve an F-. No the movie does not deserve a B+. Yes the movie was average.

No this movie was not hypnotic like the other ones. No there is no big twist in the end. Yes there are some minor twists. Yes the movie is very meta at times. Yes those were the best parts of the movie.

No the story did not suck balls. Yes the story was lame in parts. Yes there are certain questions that occur when watching that you have to ignore. Yes there are also good parts of the story. Yes Paul Giamatti was great. Yes I agree that Shyamalan seems like he is losing it a little bit. No by "it" I don't mean his talent. Yes by "it" I mean his mind.

No I would not recommend not seeing this movie. Yes I would recommend seeing Clerks II first.

No I have not seen Clerks II yet.

12:46 AM >> Worst. Fruit. Ever.


I can't even look at you.

     
Notice the gross-A boils that grew on the side of the Suckimoya. These appeared after the W.F.E. lived in my fridge (wrapped in a paper towel, per instructions) for three weeks. Never did it get as soft as an almost-ripe avocado, per instructions. I guess Cherimyface didn't read the rules on the internet like I did. Either way the entire experience of this space-age fruit was one of ultimate suckage. Imagine you are taking a rocket ship to Jupiter but then it turns out you are flying into the sun. And you forgot sunglasses. Or something like that. Finally I cut it in half to see what happened. Everything inside seemed OK except the gross-A seed or pit or piece of fruit-crap in the middle there. Still I took a tiny bite of the white flesh to see what it tasted like. I mean I had invested three months in this fruit, this was a longer relationship than most of my girlfriends (combined). When you were a kid did you ever have crabapple fights and then take a bight out of one of the crabapples? That is what this tasted like--bitter, sour, crabby. It was like an apple consistency except crisper and more stringy. Does that even make sense, fruit-wise? I only took a tiny nibble out of fear of poison. Plus for some reason I thought my wife would get mad at me if she found out I was eating this thing. However, she was nice enough when she cleaned out the fridge to place this on the counter (still wrapped in p-towel) rather than throw it in the trash with the rest of the rotten food.

Between this and the horned melon experience (HME) I am about to give up on these new fruits. I swear there are a bunch of fruit farmers in South America laughing at me.

Oh did I never tell you about the HME? Well stay tuned for the excitement.

8:41 PM >> Netflix Guilt

From a great article about the problems created by entertainment in the digital age:

>>
Episodes of “The Daily Show” and “Letterman” pile onto our DVR television recorders like copies of The New Yorker, begging to either be consumed or wastefully discarded. Netflix movies line up on our shelves like airplanes on a runway waiting to take off. And all of those blog postings relentlessly flood into our Web browsers every hour, every day. There’s certainly not time for all of it. Is this entertainment? It feels more like homework.
>>

No S, man. I knew that feeling. As soon as I got TiVo, shows I never cared about missing before suddenly took on the weight of the world. Once recorded, if I did not watch Wondershowzen, I was wasting. And I was a waste. I was too lazy to even watch TV.

Until I realized that I did not need to watch these shows I tape oops I mean record, I want to watch oops I mean replay them. And so if I want to view TV, the shows are there waiting for me like cupcakes in the summer. But if I don't get to them, I certainly never would have seen them before TiVo anyway.

SO RELAX PEOPLE IT IS OK TO IGNORE THINGS

9:59 AM >> Sunshine



dol·lop n.
1. A large lump or portion of a solid matter: a dollop of ice cream.
2. A small quantity or splash of a liquid: a dollop of whiskey.
3. A modicum; a bit: not a dollop of truth to the story.

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high
Sunshine almost all the time makes me high
Sunshine almost always
- j. denver

SESAME STREET THEME
Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame Street

Come and play
Everything's A-OK
Friendly neighbors there
That's where we meet

Can you tell me how to get
How to get to Sesame Street

It's a magic carpet ride
Every door will open wide
To Happy people like you--
Happy people like
What a beautiful

Sunny Day
Sweepin' the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me how to get,
How to get to Sesame street...

How to get to Sesame Street

How to get to...

12:33 AM >> Pool regulations and cell phone warnings

Here's an official document that was placed in all the residents' door jambs in my apartment complex >>



As well, this general notice was included in the instruction manual of my cell phone >>

"Using a damaged battery or placing a battery in you mouth may cause serious injury."

Because you know that's the first place I want to stick a battery is in my mouth. I highly suggest reading all the warnings that come with your cell phone. They are absolutely hilarious. I mean who would have known that immersing a cell phone in water is a bad idea.

12:15 AM >> ONE

The Matrix really is such a great movie. I love that I can catch it once a year at some random time on TBS.
That is all.

11:50 PM >> 7 Layer Breakfast Lasagna part Duex

BE THE FIRST TO SEE 7 LAYER BREAKFAST LASAGNA the movie.



Movie available @ myspace.com.

3:50 PM >> Skinny and the ladies #3



Gramps loves the sweets. Tea time ain't his bag but if there's a peanut butter nut square there, he's in. He's also a fan of the tiny rye bread toast things. They're small but they pack the carbs that keep him running. And good cheer. Grampa loves good conversation, stories, and laughing. He'd talk these ladies' ears off if he wanted. But today it's just the nut squares and checkin' out the formica.

10:34 PM >> The Big Three-Oh

I just got back from the beach. This trip for me was all driving fast and turning 30 (creaky joints and depressed tongue) and salty water and speeding ticket. Every day I would claim a sophisticated buzz on the beach interrupted only by a turkey/salami/colby jack cheese sandwich heated in the microwave for 30 seconds. Plus Baked Doritos and some fruit snacks. The same thing every day because a 30-year-old stomach is very delicate. And then on the last night I drank half of a Long Island Iced Tea.

M made me a birthday surprise cake and my friends were all Easy Cheese and gummi candies and beef sticks since I love them so much. I mean there was even a gummi pizza. How fucking awesome is that. The last night M got mad when I threw my wedding ring across the patio in front of the bongo and keyboard band (1 speaker, $10 cover), but can you really blame her. Don't worry, the ring is titanium.

Adam would sit and watch the pizzas bake with eggs cracked on top. I think he was hypnotized or just wishes he were a fried egg. The last day he got sunburned a little, so maybe I am on to something.

9:28 PM >> One Seagrove Place beach food report

The last 5 days I spent at Seagrove Beach, Florida. I had my camera and a notepad at the ready to document the notable meals of the trip. Let me start you off easy with the more pedestrian fare, the luncheon sandwiches. They were consumed for lunch, which was typically at 1pm after chillaxin'/drinking/playing on the beach in the morning.

One Seagrove Place Beach Sandwiches: #1>> Turkey and cheese sandwich toasted at the beach using the Hot Lava frisbee as toaster. (Hot Lava brand frisbee is a cheapy grocery store fisbee. It weighed only 100 grams making it difficult to operate.) Rating: 5.87.

#2>> Skillet fried vidallia onions and turkey with some olive oil and pepper. Added some horseradish jack. Sandwiched between two toasted slices of some kind of wheat bread with some spicy deli mustard. Very sweet tasting. Don't know if it was the onions or the bread. Rating: 6.59.

#3>> Skillet fried turkey and ham with some pepper and worecestershire and cheddar cheese. Sandwiched between two toasted slices of healthy multi-grain bread with some spicy deli mustard. Rating: 6.37

Next we'll move from the workaday meals on to the more elaborate.

One Seagrove Place Beach Gumbalya >> A cajun base of celery, onion, red and green pepper; stewed in the crock with Andouille sausage, chicken, and shrimp, some stewed tomatoes, assorted homegrown hot peppers; seasoned with pepper, thyme, minced garlic, Creole seasoning, a little worecestishire, and some sugar. Rating: 7.13.



One Seagrove Place 7-Layer Breakfast Lasagna part Deux >> 1) Southwestern hashbrowns, 2) Cabot brand chipotle cheddar, 3) sausage patties, 4) vegetables [onion, red and green pepper], *) secret second layer of hashbrowns, 5) scrambled eggs with more cheese, 6) Campbell's white sausage gravy, 7) buttermilk buscuit (the "pastry layer"). When the buscuit finished baking a baon/cheese crumble topping was added. Baked. Rating: 8.46.

And as the late nights approached we need something more than beer for our bellies.

Three Egg Aussie Pizza >> Cheap-o cardboard Celeste pizza topped with three fried eggs total aussie style. Rating: 5.99.




* NOTE: With so much food in such a short period of time you'll notice that there is a lot of discretion in the ratings. This will excite those of you who've brought this issue up in the past.

8:40 PM >> Happy 4th of July

A special holiday message for all:
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY.