11:49 PM >> Pink 45 and sweet pots


If I could I would put my iron skillet on the turntable and see what kind of yum that baby could cook up. But I can't. I can't so I'll settle for a 45 from my collection that's particularly light and crunchy. Crunchy like spring roll. Umm spicy mustard would be the perfect compliment.

[SIDE NOTE: Super Sweet Roasted Sweet Potatoes and Onions (pictured on right) - sweet potatoes and onions roasted with olive oil, worcestershire, creole seasoning, crushed red pepper, and black pepper. Rating: 7.03]

11:14 PM >> Mirral 15.1 and very funny toast



Mhy latest mirral and some toast burning exercises that I was doing for work.

10:54 PM >> Mr. Catfish for dinner and breakfast

Catfish Stir Fry - rating: 8.03



Catfish B-fast - rating: 5.62



And the peanut butter that made it all possible goes to >>

11:01 PM >> Babies mit Bearden at the Atlanta Improv Festival



Wednesday, May 24 at 8:00 PM, come check out Babies mit Bearden combined with JaCKPie Theater Workshop members as we perform Meet X at the 3rd Annual Atlanta Improv Festival (held at Dads Garage Theater). $10 for our show, $15 for an all-night pass to see us and two other shows featuring Dads Garage, Whole World Theater, and Laughing Matters.

We have performed at the AIF the past two years and rocked the joint, so come on out next Wednesday and help us rock once more!!

Thanks.

Dad's Garage website

Dad's Garage online box office

[NB >> New blog entries will appear BENEATH this post until after the fest.]

12:19 AM >> What's On The Minds of America's Youth Today? by Allison Firor

This is a genius article written by a friend. It won second place out of 4,500 entries in Vanity Fair's annual essay writing contest.

Digital Killed the Analog Star
Instant messaging with Michael
By ALLISON FIROR

Enjoy.

11:00 PM >> Toast and a red wine

With some cool tools like this one here you too can burn out images in toast. I used a cheeper version of this hi-tech Aussie manufactured wood etching or pyrography tool. I think you can prolly pick one up at Michael's or any similar arts and crafts store.

Once the pen got going it was a hell of a lot of fun. I was like a human toaster artist. Toasters are generally boring. They just toast. But with a heat pen you can toast up some cool designs. Actually, toasters are cool. The link above will show you so. It's a link to the Toaster Museum Foundation. Who knew? Here's a link all about whence The Toaster Museum Foundation got its start and such.

I prefer my toast dry, especially when being eaten with dippy style eggs. Sometimes I'll use jelly. Other times I'll use a butter smear base and a sprinkle of cinnamon or a cinnamon sugar combination. Toast is great.

You prolly should try this wine too. It's called Garnacha.

11:53 PM >> These Days

These two randomly appeared on my kitchen counter together. But together they express how my days work nowatimes. Yes all I do is take some caffeine and then try to finish what I am doing so I can take some more caffeine. (Not pictured: after-work energy drink.)

11:51 PM >> Stir fry experiment

Iron Wok Vegetable Stir Fry with Rice and Carrot Ginger Iceberg Salad












The salad >> a carrot ginger topping made by boiling and blending up some carrots. Then added to sauteed onions with pepper, ginger, crushed red pepper, black pepper, and Emeril's Asian Essence. Chilled and served over chopped iceberg lettuce with a tiny-ish squeeze of lemon.

Rating: 5.04

And the entree >> sweet onion, yellow squash, green peppers, and snap peas done up in iron wok with olive oil, roasted garlic powder, crushed red pepper, black pepper, Emeril's Asian Essence, teriyaki, lemon squirts, and some lemon zest. Served over Uncle Ben's whole grain brown rice.

Rating: 7.45

10:38 PM >> Patience is a Virtue?


Yes it has been four weeks. No it is still not ripe. Yes I am pissed. No I will not give up on my cherimoya.

5:09 PM >> Superman vs. Movie and a Makeover, episode 1A


[Storyboard provided by S. Balzer production associate and only living crew member.]


Superman vs. Movie and a Makeover, episode 1A

Cobb Municiplality. A bright sunny day in the year 2000 and 6. A lone helpless production assisstant spots trouble in the sky. The dark and shadowy figure shadows the remote Movie and a Makeover home makeover shoot. Bravely standing his ground 'Tank' is no match for the powers of Superman.

KER-KRUSH!! PAWWHAA!! SPLURGE!!

The caped villian pounds relentlessly on the Tank's nuts. Leaving him out cold and unable to warn the rest of the crew. Wasting no time our camera man, two designer's assistants, and a carpenter fall victim to Superman's steel crushing fists. Leaving in his wake a splintered pile of purple-y painted wood trim that would be the piece de resistance of this never-to-see-completion mid-century modern kid's room makeover.

Physically drained Mr. Man raids the craft service table. He claims his spoils - a blueberry crumble cake muffin and a Diet Coke. Without pause for digestion he KWERSLACKS our designer and vanity artist. The producer having monitored all the bloody, horrid events on her crisp and clean LCD monitor is the next to fall.

Up Up and Away. The villian leaves with a smile. The Movie and a Makeover crew moans. And as for the viewing public, they can only mourn the day that Superman wiped out the crew of TBS' Movie and a Makeover.

10:39 PM >> It's Complicated

 
That's right, folks. I have a cherimoya.

Oh, and my new thing to do these days is not wearing a belt.

10:08 PM >> Religion-y stuff

SAINT JOSEPH



For yous in the market to sell your house. It might be a good idea to read up on St. Joseph. This is the guy who can help you get it done. There's some folklore that suggests burying a little statue of St. J in your yard in some particular ritualistic fashion might be your deal breaker.

To my parents and to Laurel's family I send my own prayers. They're both trying to sell. The photo above is the J that Laurel's family buried in their front yard. It might be necessary for you to flag where you buried your figurine if you want it back once the paperwork's all over. We dug a number of holes in the front yard trying to refind this J for the photoshoot.

BEN'S LAST SUPPER THE PAINTING



Recently at a garage sale my friend Ben was trying to part with this print that he had for a few bucks. It's of the Last Supper. But a very special Last Supper. Please check out the detailed photograph and see what all the apostles were bugging Jesus about.

9:50 PM >> Carpentry notes and Canadia

I went on a little Internet carpentry adventure today. Firstly I discovered some very interesting things about desks. Desks facinate me. Thomas Jefferson developed his very own special desk thingy.







A bureau is another really great type of desk.

Too, dressers excite me. There are just so many kinds. And they have all these different names. Of all time my favorite is the Chest of Drawers (pictured first, below). The name is just great. So cool. Another cooly named type of dresser is the Chifforobe (second picture). Wow. Nice one, whoever came up with that.



In the miscellaneous section are two items. One you'd find in a living room and the other in a kitchen. Not only is a Chesterfield a cigarette brand. But it's also a couch style, among some other things. You'll notice a lot of towns name themselves Chesterfield too.


And then the Appliance Garage, which is just the coolest. My parents have one. It's so much fun to use. It's almost like a space port in a space ship. I wish I had one of my own. It's kind of like a breadbox. But then again not exactly. It's still neat though. So are breadboxes too.

On this very subject I'd like to facilitate a geography lesson. Today we're going to learn to memory the provinces of Canada.

Here's a picture >>


And here's a memorization technique for the more important provinces >>

For bad heachaches BC (British Columbia) powder for Uncle Al (Alberta) when he's hunting the evily dangerous sasquach (Saskatchewan). He's a man (Manitoba). Oh (Ontario) he's a man. Questions (Quebec) anyone? Bueller?

(Newfoundland) the owner of the brown (Labrador) - he's got a question. Ask away. I'm starving. I could really use some brunswick stew (New Brunswick). Brunswick stew with (Nova Scotia) in it. I just hate the taste of Nova Scotia.

11:20 PM >> Good for what Ails ya

The coolest banner/ribbon type thing I have seen in forever >>

Yes I did dig this can out of the trash to take a picture of it. But really the trash was just the recycling bin so I was just doing my part, as they say. And it was all in the name of truth because that is the most true banner I have ever read. (Have you ever put chili on your face? I know Ensign has.)

11:14 PM >> A floating basketball and

This picture >>

I took this photo on break while sitting at Turner and something ghostly happened. I mean just look there is a basketball floating in mid air. That's amazing. This is not trick photography or anything. I was reviewing the photo and the ball seems to be suspended in mid air.

As a side note bit of advice for folks I'll say that it's not smart to toast Quaker Rice Cakes unattended in the toaster oven. I had mine set to very very light and when my attention was grabbed (too late) by the smoking over it WAS too late. Then oven was smoking like crazy. I yanked the thing out and turned on all the fans that I had.

It was strange that only the top of the cake was charred. Nothing else. The charred cake tasted awesome dipped in my morning coffee. I was toasting a Cinnamon Toast flavored Multigrain Cake.

7:50 PM >> Opera of the Galactic Lion



Hailing to Earth from Stereophonoquam Z67 of the galaxy of the Pink Fleckled Moons comes Lion Face Stephens. He lands. He seeks out peace among men and feline. He is king of the jungle. Waving blind onion rags soaked in the bleach of far away suns Lion Face signs that he means no harm. He is the purveyor of peace. His first mate Edgar Superfrog follows him into the unknown a faithful servant, who is also mute. He does not speak the native tongue of the Stereophonoquam that being liney cuneiform. It is Lion Face singing to the reaches of space. Linking the peoples from Pink Fleckled Moons to those of all the intergalactic shores. It is Lion Face.

NOTE: This mini-tiny operetta inspired by Sweet Potato Carrot Crock. SPCC is chopped carrots and sweet potatoes with onions, some Worcestershire, honey, black pepper, a little cinnamon and ginger. Served with white corn on the cob and serano pepper honey cornbread. It received a rating of 6.34.

INTERESTING, UNRELATED, AND HOT: Here's a picture of some Habenero pepper poppers I made during my apprenticeship as sous chef to Chef Steve (left of peppers, he was taking a break from the ribs and checking in on my progress). Pictured here they are pre-breadcrumb breading and baking. They are stuffed with cream cheese. They were hot as hell. I ate one, was crying within 30 seconds, my tongue burned for 25 minutes while my body underwent a painful euphoria.

9:53 PM >> Portrait Time

Yes, this is my family:

Wifey.Cat.

Dog.Niece.