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 >> Captain, Corporal, Ensign >>

5.30.2005
10:52 PM >> Loud hat




Here's a loud hat that I wore at work one day. Everyone listened to me. They had no other choice. This hat was boisterous. This hat got my point across. This hat was very heavy and required some serious neck muscles to operate.


 
5.23.2005
1:29 PM >> My Grandma is cooler than your Grandma

This is kind of sad, but my 80+ year-old grandmother, AKA Gram, is so funny. (I got this story from my sister's blog) >>

My sister has a friend, Mindy. Mindy has a daughter, Allison. One day, a turtle wandered into Mindy/Allison's yard, and Allison decided to keep the turtle as a pet. She named him/her Crouton. Later, Allison decided Crouton should return home to his/her family and friends. They released the turtle back into the wild, back to the pond. After this, Wendy drove by the pond and ran over a turtle. So basically she killed Crouton. Mindy told Wendy she has to tell Allison what happened to her beloved Crouton.

So my mom tells this story at Mother's Day dinner.

Gram then says: "Crouton is now bread crumbs."


 
12:36 PM >> Atlanta Improv Festival

Come see us.


 
5.21.2005
3:38 PM >> 5 New Dinner Guests

Special Hip-Hop Edition!

Chingy
Snoop Dogg
Dr. Dre
Ludacris
50 Cent

[Eddy, you are welcome to hang out in the kitchen if you want to meet these guys.]


 
5.20.2005
11:02 PM >> 1790 Census of 'Merica



 
10:41 PM >> Meld und metallurgy

Well, it seems I was off. Meld seems to stem from card playing primarily, not metallurgy.

v. meld·ed, meld·ing, melds

v. tr. To declare or display (a card or combination of cards in a hand) for inclusion in one's score in various card games, such as pinochle.

v. intr. To present a meld.

n. A combination of cards to be declared for a score.

[Probably German melden, to announce, from Middle High German, from Old High German meldn.]

However, I did track this dictionary entry down, which 'weld' is cited as a derivative suggesting a metal-ish influenced:

v. meld·ed, meld·ing, melds

v. tr. To cause to merge: "a professional position that seemed to meld all his training" (Art Jahnke).

v. intr. To become merged.

n. A blend or merger: "a meld of diverse ethnic stocks" (Kenneth L. Woodward).

[Perhaps blend of melt, and weld1.]


 
5.15.2005
11:05 PM >> Free Frosty Weekend




In response to a recent, though falsified, "waiter there's a human finger in my chili incident" in San Jose, Wendy's is having a Free Frosty Weekend From Friday, May 13, through Sunday, May 15.

I found out and went in for mine. Seeing that I had some iced coffee in the fridge and some Fluff still left in the cupboard, I decided that I'd make a little evening treat - the Blended Coffee Frosty Fluff. The drink is a blended mixture inlcuding iced coffee, Fluff, a small (free) Frosty, and ice cubes blended into a delicious lactoid shake.


 
5.09.2005
9:53 PM >> Dear Meriweather

Dear Meriweather,

Hey, this is Damian Dunn. You don't know me. I am from the future. Your future. But I am having a special dinner that I'd like to invite you to. Really it's nothing special. Just a gathering of minds that I thought would enjoy each other's company.

We'll be having pizza. If you aren't familiar with pizza that's fine. I know you'll like it. Everyone these days loves pizza. It's kind of like a dessert but in entree form. Some call it a pizza pie. You take some dough, throw on some combination of meat and vegetables, add cheese - and that's basically it. Oh, then you bake it in an oven when you are all done. But that's pizza.

The food's not really the important thing. I just thought that you'd like to get together with me and some people that I've selected and have dinner, maybe hang out by the pool, maybe have a drink or two, and chat. I'd probably get a keg. And we'd have ice cream too. But it would be just a few guys having a pool party and talking.

A lot of stuff has went down here since you've been around, so I am sure that you'd be up on hearing all about that. Plus, I'd like to ask you about a million questions about your expedition and the days that you spent at the White House as TJ's secretary.

I should have mentioned - Thomas is going to be there too, if he ever RSVPs. But basically it'll be just us, poolside with some beers and some pizzas hanging out.

Let me know if you'd like to come.

Your friend from the future,
Damian


 
5.07.2005
6:55 PM >> Zinger Class XXI




A new class of Zinger type submarine spotted on the slips in the top-secret harbor of Fletchkynev, Russia. Can reach up to 85 knots at maximum battery power. Propulsion system unknown. Equipped with payload of 32 raspberry homing torpedoes. Super secret anti-sonar ping deterrents.

CLASSIFICATION: DANGEROUS


 
 
[riddle wrapped in
enigma stuffed inside
burrito swallowed by
whale sprayed to
sea captured by UFO]

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