9:39 PM >> Sitty

Ensgin: check this out.

8:58 PM >> Hobbit Face

Corp, are you reading the Hobbit? It's not important. Anyhoo, I like your posts lately. I go in an out of fits of depression too. We'll have do do some comparisons and see if maybe we are on the same cycle. What do you think of writing another sitcom episode to get back in to things? That'd be fun. Sorry I haven't called to talk to you in a while.

I checked in to blog, b/c I felt like I hadn't blogged in ages. It was nice to see you were feeling the same way.

Oh, speaking of nostalgia, I just got some great photos developed from Keith's bach.

Later...

12:51 AM >> Yore

I am always trying to recapture the past. Whether through music or movies or old t-shirts, I want to relive the past glory. I do not look to the future. I cannot. I have no hope in my heart. I can only think of the past glories which grow more glorified with each passing day. In the future all I see is stress and anxiety and the possibility of f-ing it all up. In the past I can see fun times and victory and gloriousness. And I wish I were there again. What is there ahead of me? Just a bunch of crap. Nothing to look forward to. Just more and more chances to blow it. More time to think about what was. But will I one day look back upon today as such a glorious time? 90% probably. That is the f-ed up part.

12:12 AM >> Such a long time

It has been 21 days since I last posted. Three weeks. Feels like three years. What happened to my inspiration? Is it the work-travel? The election? Depression? Do I go through depressive cycles without realizing it? I have been depressed lately. Maybe that is it. And the depression is caused by the work-travel. But this feels good. It feels right. I only wish I felt like posting more often. But I have to be struck; be inspired. Once I start, though, if I hit the current, it just flows. And I love it. I especially enjoy creating words by hyphenating two nouns together but using the first noun as an adjective-descriptor (i.e. work-travel). I think I learned this trick from The Hobbit.

The one thing that keeps recurring in my mind as I am trying to go drift off to sleep that really disturbs me and truly makes me squirm in my bed (rather, the hotel's bed) is the thought of eating my own tongue with a fork and knife while it is still attached in my mouth. You know, cutting it off piece by piece like you would a steak. It seems I always have some sort of thought like this that crawls through my mind like a nest of spiders every night for months--I remember the last one was something along the lines of cutting og my nutsack with a straight razor.

Disturbed yet?

Time to kill another 40 minutes with cold, dried-out pizza, a Bud Light tall boy or two, and Harry Potter rumors.

12:03 AM >> Mint in Pantaloons

The mint. The crazy wild mint. Store it in the crisper. Use it for a week and then discard when you are done. Done. No more mint. No more. Mint in the Pants.

8:51 PM >> New Glasses and New Words

New glasses are one great excuse to have a drink. I just got some new tumblers, well actually, they are very old tumblers. They were hawked from my Grandma's attic, so they're prolly older than me. But upon opening the box and blowing off the dust, I said "Damn, I need to take this baby for a spin." So I ran it under some hot water, threw in 3 cubes, and poured a little whiskey. I was watching an old ganster movie at the time where everyone was drinking whiskeys every five seconds, so that was also a big push in the decision to try out the tumbler.

New words are cool. I just came across some new words and decided to look them up to see what I found. Again, actually, they aren't new words. They were dug out of the dusty attic of Brian Wilson's Smile album, which puts them at 37 years old, I think. But they're good words, fun words, so here, take a gander >>

roun·de·lay (round-l) n. A poem or song with a regularly recurring refrain.

grange (grnj) n. 1. A building for storing grain; a granary. [Obs.] --Milton. 2. A farmhouse, with the barns and other buildings for farming purposes. And eke an officer out for to ride, To see her granges and her bernes wide. --Chaucer. Nor burnt the grange, nor bussed the milking maid. --Tennyson. 3. A farmhouse of a monastery, where the rents and tithes, paid in grain, were deposited. [Obs.] 4. A farm; generally, a farm with a house at a distance from neighbors. 5. An association of farmers, designed to further their interests, aud particularly to bring producers and consumers, farmers and manufacturers, into direct commercial relations, without intervention of middlemen or traders. The first grange was organized in 1867. [U. S.]